Into You
by Chibi1309
Summary: People grow and change over time. So do feelings, much to the discomfort of a certain half-demon. A short story chronicling the development Raven and Beast Boy's relationship over time. Fluffy and light. Rated M for mature themes, but nothing explicit. Complete. [BBRae, mild RobStar]
1. Chapter 1 - I Can Barely Breathe

**Author's note:**** On finishing Fly Away (epilogue is coming, I promise), I decided to do a much shorter, fluffier fic just for fun. I found this easier to write and it's not for any reason other than the song gave me an idea and I ran with it. It's all good practice!**

**Important query:**** On a slightly different note, I just wanted to float an idea with folks - if I were to start up a 'song lyric inspired' one shot request fic, would people be interested? I.e. I will write a chapter length story based around a song of your choice (submitted in reviews or via PM) that reminds you of our favourite BBRae couple? More good practice and a challenge for me! Leave a review and let me know what you think.**

**Please note:**** This is not a lemon – I'm aware the lyrics to this song are raunchy and there will be ****_very_**** adult themes, hence the M rating. But it is not and never will never be smut, so please don't ask for it. No shade though, if you seek smut there are some ****_excellent_**** writers of it out there and I recommend you go check their stories out. I cannot write erotic literature to save my life, so I'm afraid this is the closest you will get from me...either way enjoy! Thank you as always for your ongoing support.**

**Fun fact:**** I entitled this word document 'Fluff Bucket'. You get the gist. **

**This concludes the Author notes until the end. I've written this fic from start to finish, so will schedule regular updates until it's finished (it's only short). It jumps through several years for the time span of the piece, so hopefully you will all follow it and it will make sense. I will put any review responses at the bottom of chapters, if you have any questions or suggestions as always let me know or drop me a PM.**

**-Chibi**

**Tl;dr:**** It's not a lemon but a fluff bucket, I've got a suggestion for another fic idea and would appreciate input, thank you for your support! :)**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Teen Titans, or the song which inspired this fic 'Into You' by Ariana Grande. Please don't sue!**

* * *

**Into You**

**Chapter One – ****I Can Barely Breathe**

"Beast Boy, look out!"

Robin's voice echoed across the air and vanished as the changeling was clipped by a shot from Dr Light. Garfield cursed under his breath, before shifting into an enraged T-Rex and running towards the startled scoundrel. Robin recognised his cue and threw a birdarang towards the man, a bright light flashing in the night sky. Dr Light squealed as he stumbled about, trying to get his bearings. Starfire's green bolts hit the ground, spilling dust up into the air. Blinded and heaving for air, Dr Light lurched forwards in desperation, his arms aiming out towards anything target that might be coming to get him. He knew it was a hundred to one chance that he would hit anything, but nonetheless his brain had gone into survival mode as the five teen superheroes bared down on him. His arms made the familiar whirring noise as they powered up the blast, but before he could send out a bolt of light, a green tail whipped around and knocked the villain from his feet. Spinning in the air, he saw the ground approaching him fast and braced for impact. His mind raced: _'I didn't even get chance for a witty one liner, and I'd been working on those for months.'_

The pavement cracked beneath him as he slammed into the ground, his machinery sizzling in failure. The dust began to settle, and the silhouettes of five familiar teens walked towards his broken figure. With a final grunt, he submitted to his fate and blacked out cold. Robin approached first, his bostaff readied in case this was another of Dr Light's tricks. But he noticed the contortion of his face, the sweat peeling down his brow and the vacant expression. Robin knew that the villain was done for today. He sighed in relief, retracting his staff and placing it into his belt deftly.

"Good job team," stated the boy wonder, turning around to face the other four. "Now we just have to put him back where he belongs."

There was a pained mumble at the back of the group, as Beast Boy collapsed onto the floor. Starfire squeaked in shock, as he crumpled down clutching his side. Robin bent down to him, placing his hand on his shoulder like a concerned parent.

"Beast Boy, are you okay?"

"F-fine," grumbled Garfield, looking remarkably pale despite his complexion. "Just peachy."

"That shot from Light's canon hit you hard," contested Robin, firmly. "You need to be looked at in the medbay stat."

"I'll take him back," volunteered the deep tones of the empath from the back of the group. Everyone turned to look at Raven in surprise. She held her hands up into the air, as if to explain. "I can heal him; I don't feel too drained after the fight. I could transport us back to the medbay and provide some basic care until the rest of you can make it home."

Robin nodded; it was a sensible notion. Cyborg had the T-Car and would be able to transport them all plus Dr Light to the Tower via the penitentiary. Starfire was already hoisting the villain onto her shoulders as if he weighed nothing, her face lined with concentration.

"Come, friends! Let us depart now. Friend Beast Boy is looking like he is in need of the healing and Dr Light may awaken at any moment."

"Girl's got a point," nodded Cy, tapping some commands into his arm as the T-Car whizzed around the corner to their position. "Let's make tracks."

"Got it. See you back at the Tower guys. Be careful," added Robin, running towards the vehicle. The three Titans and the unconscious villain whipped into the car and were gone in a squeal of tyres and dirt. Beast Boy coughed in their wake, as Raven crouched beside him.

"Can you stand?"

Beast Boy's mind raced, trying to think of a witty wisecrack. But the pain was all his brain could focus on right now. He shook his head slowly and the Azarathian gave a tiny smile in understanding. She knew that if her usually garrulous comrade was this quiet, he must be _really_ hurting. Raven placed her hand on his shoulder as her eyes glowed white.

"I know you hate this, but it's the quickest way back. Take a breath."

Garfield squeezed his eyes shut as the world seemed to lurch and whizz past him at a strange pace. Darkness enveloped them both, and the queasy feeling in his stomach became stronger. He placed his hands over his mouth, desperately. He felt Raven's grip on his shoulder tighten reassuringly. They landed gently on the medbay floor, in the familiar T-shaped Tower they called home.

Swallowing, Beast Boy turned to look at her. He gave a small, queasy smile. "The breath didn't help."

Raven rolled her eyes and gently lifted the changeling up with her powers, manoeuvring him towards the bed. She pulled her hood down, so she could see better in the dimly lit room. "Don't be a baby. It wasn't that bad."

"It was _pretty_ bad," countered Beast Boy, still feeling remarkably nauseous. He held back his desire to gag. "Not gonna lie, Rae. I don't like interdimensional travel. Definitely not as fun in practice as those Sci-Fi films make out."

Raven rolled her eyes a second time. She didn't have the heart to correct him for calling her by a pet name when she could sense his true pain beneath the smile. She lightly touched his side, opting instead to ignore his attempts at humour. "Is this where it hurts, Beast Boy?"

Garfield winced, doubling with the pain. "Bullseye."

"Sorry about that," replied Raven, tugging his top upwards slightly. Beast Boy chuckled audibly, causing her to pause and look at him quizzically.

"If you wanted to undress me, you could have just asked nicely," joked the changeling, his green eyes lighting with mirth. Raven snarled at him, narrowing her eyes.

"We need to lift your uniform so that I can see the damage. Otherwise I'm healing blind, and I don't want to waste unnecessary power."

"Touchy," responded the shapeshifter, giving her a goofy grin. "Calm down, I was only joking. Here."

He reached down and lifted his top up at the side, their fingertips brushing as he did so. Raven felt a strange jolt running through her, her heart beat raising slightly and her face flushing. There was something strange, she recognised, about the idea of her teammate taking his top off in front of her. When it was just the two of them. Alone in the Tower. She swallowed, trying to calm herself as he struggled his way out of the clothing, trying to avoid his injuries. Her eyes ran down the length of his torso. At seventeen years old, the changeling had started to mature into a man. His abdominal muscles were apparent despite his lean frame and his chest had become broader with age. Raven swallowed again. What was she even thinking right now? This was _Beast Boy_. Her teammate. Her friend. Since Trigon's departure, it was true that she had become closer to all of the team in different ways. In more recent times, she and the changeling had got on better despite their bickering. But to suddenly see him in this light was strange. For a fleeting moment, the empath was dumbstruck. So, she did what she did best when faced with such situations.

Buried it.

"Are you alright there or do you need a hand?" she mumbled, dryly. Finally, Beast Boy's head popped out of the top, and he gave her another fanged grin.

"Nope, got it. So, what's the damage, Doc?"

Raven realised suddenly that she hadn't even assessed the damage, she had been too busy ogling her teammate. _Ogling_. The word made her stomach churn. Half demons do not _ogle_. Nor do they blush or become flustered, she reminded herself. Forcing her eyes down, she ran her fingers gingerly over the burn that was all up the changeling's side, trying to overlook the strange feeling in her chest as her skin brushed his.

"You took a good hit; I'll give you that. I think I can soothe this for you so that it won't be too painful, then Cyborg will have to prescribe you some cream to help heal your skin from the burn."

"Sure, whatever. Just make it stop hurting, please?"

Raven took a very deep breath, ignoring the way butterflies invaded her stomach when he looked at her with pleading eyes, and placed her hands across him gently. The blue light glowed from her finger tips, and Beast Boy let out a relieved sigh. "Oh, that's _good_."

Raven felt the colour rising to her cheeks again. _'I will not blush. I will keep calm and heal my teammate. My teammate. My friend. Nothing more. There is nothing strange about being here with my teammate. My topless teammate and his chiselled chest. Oh, Azar. Be __**quiet**__!'_

There was a strange silence in the room as Raven worked. She glanced at the shapeshifter. His eyes were transfixed on the ceiling, as though he was deep in thought. Deciding that it was best not to distract him, she looked down and saw that the damage was mostly healed. It was time to stop; she could feel herself becoming light headed.

"There, all done," stated the empath, retracting her hands from him. Beast Boy turned his eyes towards her. They were filled with warmth and happiness.

"Thanks, Rae. That feels much better. I think I can move normally again."

Raven gave a tiny smile, before stepping back away from him. "You're welcome."

Garfield tilted his head and gave her a different look, like he was trying to work her out. "Are you okay? You seem a bit...weird?"

"I'm always weird," countered Raven, pulling her hood back up firmly. Beast Boy snorted at her, before swinging his legs around and standing from the bed.

"Weirder than usual then."

"No, I'm fine. Just tired. The battle and healing have just drained me a little," lied Raven, straightening herself beneath her cloak. Beast Boy looked at her, concern lining his face.

"Sorry Raven, I didn't mean to put you to trouble. I really appreciate you taking a look at it," said the green teenager, smiling sheepishly. Raven gave a little nod, grateful that she had evaded his probing questions. She wasn't entirely sure what had come over her, but the empath knew that she needed to go away and meditate about it before speaking to him any further.

As the thoughts raced through her mind, the changeling walked towards her. She suddenly registered his close proximity as he wrapped his arms around her. When had he started to get so tall? His head was slightly above hers now, she noticed. His scent filled her nose, and she could barely breathe. His warmth overtook her. Her pipes constricted in her throat, her eyes filling with water. He was still topless, his bare skin resting against her cheek. Her heart was pounding in her ears; it was all too much.

"Thanks Rae," he mumbled obliviously, giving her a slightly tighter squeeze before releasing her. "You're a good friend."

Raven felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by his earnest care and kindness, overwhelmed by her strange thoughts and feelings, overwhelmed by the closeness of the hug. But mostly, overwhelmed by an urge to press her lips to his and sink deeply into whatever the hell this was that was happening to her. Realising she was considering kissing Beast Boy she mentally gave herself a firm slap.

_'Azar, get a hold of yourself,'_ she thought sternly, noticing his hands were still gripping her arms either side. She allowed a small smile to break past her face, for the third time today. That was unusual. Reaching one arm out of her cloak, Raven touched his forearm in a friendly way. The voice rose up in her mind again. _'Don't let on how your feeling. Keep it to yourself, stupid girl.'_

"You're welcome," repeated Raven, her monotone ever present. "And it's _Raven_ as well you know."

Beast Boy laughed, releasing her from his grasp. She finally felt her breath returning to her, her heart slowing pace and the colour subsiding from her cheeks. He rubbed the back of his head, giving his signature goofy smile.

"Guess I couldn't get away with it that many times in one day, huh?"

"I gave you a couple of free passes because you were in pain. Don't get used to it," smirked Raven, tilting her head to the side. "The others will be back soon. I need to go and meditate."

"Got it," nodded Beast Boy, grabbing his top and putting it back on. His hair was ruffled from the fight, and he still looked slightly dishevelled. Something about the look was making heat pool in Raven's stomach. She felt relief and a strange twinge of disappointment as he pulled the top down around his midriff. "I could do with getting cleaned up anyway."

Raven nodded and turned to walk out of the room without another word. She couldn't stop to say goodbye. The truth was she didn't really want to leave, yet she was scared what would happen if she stayed any longer in his presence.

Garfield watched her depart, a frown on his face. He shrugged before heading towards his room to grab a shower. He knew better than to question the actions of the half-demon, and he was sure whatever was bothering her would become apparent in time.

* * *

Raven could hear the return of her teammates and sense the excitement that was drifting through the Tower. It was always the same after a fight, particularly one where they were victorious. The emotions ran rampant throughout the building, and she had to keep herself away to prevent it from overwhelming her. Since Trigon, she had managed to become a little more controlled and comfortable with her emotions seeing the light of day.

But not this.

Since her interaction with the changeling, she had been lying on her bed, looking up at the ceiling like a normal teenage girl would. She felt as though her mind and body were out of sync. The physiological reactions she experienced in that room were contrasting with her thoughts about the green teen.

"He's _just_ my friend," whispered Raven, to no one in particular. "He's not even my type. What's wrong with me? Why would I be thinking these things about Beast Boy?"

_'Because you're attracted to him.'_

The small voice in her mind was easy enough to squash, given enough concentration.

"I am not," she whispered, more harshly. "There is no way that I could possibly..."

_'You could and you do. You might as well accept it. It's pointless to fight it.'_

Somehow the voice had struggled its way back to the surface. Raven glared angrily at the vent on her ceiling. "You're insane."

_'I'm part of you so that doesn't really say much.'_

Raven narrowed her eyes and mumbled an indiscernible Azarathian curse under her breath. She let out a slow exhalation of air and stared back at the vent defiantly, as though the voice was hiding there. "Okay, so what if I do? It's not like it means anything. It's just teenage hormones."

_'Perhaps. I do not know what it is, merely that it is.'_

"Then it's settled," grumbled the empath, folding her arms. "I can accept that I have a strange attraction to him, but nothing more. Therefore, I will not act on it, I will not change my behaviour and you _will be quiet._"

There was no response. Raven smiled triumphantly. There, that wasn't so difficult. A crush meant nothing. She had experienced one some years ago for Aqualad and had managed to quell it without incident. Why should this be any different? So, her teammate was growing up into a handsome man - shouldn't she be allowed to admire that? It didn't change anything. He was still Beast Boy at the end of the day.

Satisfied in her decision, Raven pushed herself to her feet. Time to test the theory then. Walking to her door before she could change her mind, she grabbed her cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. It was a short walk to ops where all the other Titans were gathered. Cyborg and Beast Boy were playing on the Gamestation, Robin was getting heavily invested in their game and Starfire was standing behind the couch cheering them on. They were being raucous, to say the least. Raven momentarily regretted her decision before deciding that at the very least she could make herself a cup of tea and grab a snack now she was here. The battle had taken a toll on her as it always did, and she owed it to her human side to at least try and replenish herself.

Starfire turned slightly and noticed the empath's entrance into the room. She clasped her hands and squeaked in joy. "Friend Raven! How wondrous you have decided to join us. You are well?"

"Fine, Star," mumbled Raven, reaching for her mug. "Just need some tea."

"Marvellous, then perhaps I shall also partake myself."

The Tameranean arched into the air and flew past the Azarathian at speed, causing her hair and cloak to blow up in the air. Raven sighed, tucking a stray strand behind her ears. She spoke without looking up. "Top left cupboard."

Starfire adjusted her trajectory, reaching into the cupboard and pulling out her prized bottle of extra strong Mustard and a straw. She landed heavily next to Raven, causing the empath to lift off the ground slightly. Any normal person would have been concerned by the landing, but Raven barely acknowledged it; simply readjusting her spoon in the mug and calmly pouring the boiling water over the bag. "Dr Light safely behind bars?"

"Indeed, he is! Perhaps this time he may stay there," sighed Star, slurping noisily through her straw. The boys let out a loud guffaw and shout from the couch, causing both of the women's eyes to avert towards them. "They are having the fun!"

"They are being loud," corrected Raven, hunting through the cupboards until she found her favourite stash of cereal bars. "Don't they ever get tired of the noise?"

"I am uncertain I follow," shrugged Starfire, her inquisitive jade eyes landing on Raven's. "Do you not think that being the loud and having the fun can be the same thing? It is merely an expression of their joy!"

"It's an expression of their idiocy," shot back Raven, quickly. A guilty pang hit her stomach as she realised that she had been unnecessarily mean. She took a deep breath and stirred her tea before taking a sip and sitting next to the princess. "But whatever floats your boat."

"Oh no, it is a spaceship racing game not boats," grinned Starfire, innocently. Raven didn't have the heart to correct her. They sat in amicable silence, watching across the room as the boys played. Starfire's eyes shifted back over to the Azarathian. "Beast Boy seems to be well after our battle. You really are a most gifted healer."

Raven's cheeks burned both at the compliment and the recollection of the earlier events of the day. "It was no problem."

"We are most lucky to have a caring friend like you," smiled Starfire, touching her hand lightly. "Beast Boy was in the pain, but you made it go away. You do truly care about us all; I know it in my heart."

"Of _course_ I do," grumbled Raven, managing another tiny smile. "Just because I'm not like them—"

She paused, gesturing to the male Titans clapping each other on the back, laughing and joking.

"—doesn't mean I don't care about you all."

"I am aware that you always do things in your own way," laughed Starfire, swirling her straw in the mustard. Her eyes lingered on Robin. "You are not alone in that."

Raven followed the alien's eyeline and sighed. "Still doesn't have a clue, huh?"

"No," whispered Star, her head hanging a little lower. "He does not."

"Men are idiots," decided Raven, firmly. "Particularly these three."

"They are not all bad," replied Star, her eyes falling back onto the boy wonder. "They are just different. We are all different."

"Maybe," shrugged Raven, sipping on her tea and taking a bite of her cereal bar. "I'll take your word for it."

Silence befell them again, and Starfire let out a dreamy sigh. Raven couldn't help but shake her head. Their leader seemed to be oblivious to the Tameranean's obvious feelings. Romantic feelings, in any case. Raven's eyes fell across to the other two Titans, as she contemplated the idea of romantic attachments.

_'They aren't really idiots; you know they aren't.'_

The voice was back. Raven frowned and tried to ignore it. Her experience with Malchior had made her view of men particularly jaded. But she knew really that her male friends were good people. That they would die for her, at any given moment. Their fight against Trigon had cemented that thought forever. Raven's eyes were drawn to the changeling. Sitting in the room with him felt okay, not as scary as she first thought. The crush would amount to nothing after all, it was just an extension of her growing hormones and her care for him. It would pass in time, and normality would resume. As if on cue, Garfield looked over towards where they were sitting and gave one of his signature grins. Her stomach dropped immediately, colour raising to her cheeks once more. She felt her heart picking up pace, her excitement bubbling through.

Then again...this may be harder than she first thought. Staring resolutely at her tea, Raven didn't make eye contact with anyone around her for some minutes, as she struggled to regain control over her emotions. Her mantra was repeated in her head over and over. _Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos._

"—what do you think, friend?"

Raven's head jerked upwards as though she'd been struck. Her thoughts vanished as she tried to focus on what the redheaded teen was saying beside her. "Hmm?"

"I said, perhaps tomorrow we may go to the mall of shopping? I would like to look at some new clothing and I am aware that your favourite author has released a new book. What do you think, friend?"

"Sure, sounds good," muttered Raven, clutching her tea. This was quickly becoming a difficult situation, and she needed to extricate herself from it. Standing from the stool she grabbed her effects and made to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow, Star. I'm tired from today and I need to go to my room to recover."

"Of course!" smiled Starfire, widely. "Sleep well friend! Don't let the Zornian muck-beetles bite!"

Raven gave the Tameranean a wide-eyed look at the idea of a Zornian muck-beetle sharing her bed. "Uh, okay. Night."

Apparating herself to her room, tea in hand, she paced to the bedside table and placed her drink down. Nothing had broken, nothing was damaged. It wasn't a complete disaster, despite her momentary stumble. Raven nodded, feeling confident in her assertions.

"See, that wasn't so bad. It'll pass. I just need time. He's _just _my friend. That's all there is to it. We're all just growing up, this is to be expected. I can simply chalk today up to a strange day and move on."

As she gazed around the empty room, Raven wasn't sure who she was trying to convince. The quietness of her space was all that greeted her as she slipped into her bed. She hoped that things would be clearer tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2 - Close Ain't Close Enough

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe. I don't own the song Into You by Ariana Grande, which inspired this fic. _**

**_Review replies etc. at end of chapter. Please read and review - all reviews are greatly appreciated. _**

* * *

**_Chapter Two – 'Close ain't close enough'_**

_Around One Year Later_

It got worse.

Raven tried her best to manage her emotions for Beast Boy as the days rolled by. Days had rolled into weeks. Weeks into months. Before she knew it, they were getting ready to celebrate Beast Boy's eighteenth birthday, and the empath was worried. She cast her mind back to the conversation that had taken place between the Titans one month ago.

_It was a lazy Sunday afternoon in the Tower. Robin, Raven and Cyborg were in ops enjoying some free time. Starfire and Beast Boy were 'parenting' Silkie. Cyborg was drying dishes from lunch and putting them away in the cupboards as Robin thumbed through the local paper. Raven was reading quietly in the corner, in her customary position._

_"Hey, Rob man. I was thinkin' that maybe we could organise a party for the green bean this year," said Cyborg brightly, breaking the comfortable silence. The Azarathian's violet eyes were barely visible above the rim of her book as she eavesdropped on their conversation. _

_"Like maybe we could do a surprise party for him or somethin'," continued Cy, reaching up on his tiptoes to a high cupboard. "I think it would mean a lot to him. It's a milestone, ya know? Plus, he's the last of us to turn eighteen, which in a way is kinda a landmark event for all of us."_

_"You're right, Cy," nodded Robin, raising his eyes from the obituaries. "I guess it kind of marks all of us officially becoming adults. And we all know that Beast Boy enjoys a good party."_

_"Right on!" laughed Cyborg, finishing the drying and putting his dishcloth down on the side. He turned and leaned his back against the counter, talking to the leader directly. "So, what are you thinkin'?"_

_"Maybe we could throw a party here, nothing too crazy. Invite the other Titans from all over, possibly the Doom Patrol too if they're available. At least Elastigirl might come, that would probably mean a lot to him. Get in some drinks and snacks, play some Gamestation," suggested Robin, shrugging. He had mellowed over recent months since he and Starfire had started dating. Cyborg nodded appreciatively._

_"Oh yeah! The grass stain will love that. Sounds right up his street," affirmed the cybernetic man, fondly. His best friend's happiness was important to him, and he wanted to ensure that the shapeshifter knew how much they all valued him on such a special day. He smiled. "Tell me what you want me to organise and I'm there, man."_

_"Please don't put Starfire in charge of refreshments," chipped in Raven, her eyes still fixed firmly on her book. The two boys chuckled appreciatively. The Tameranean's cooking skills hadn't improved with age. She smirked and flicked her eyes upwards. "I would like to live to see nineteen."_

_"No fear," confirmed Robin, standing to his feet and retrieving his communicator from his belt. He typed rapidly, his fingers flying deftly across the keys. "There I've sent you all a list of responsibilities."_

_Cyborg and Raven's communicators pinged in unison with the same message. Raven's eyes scanned the text quickly._

**_TOP SECRET: Beast Boy's Surprise Party list_**

**_Cyborg: Drinks and Snacks_**

**_Robin: Guest List and Entertainment_**

**_Starfire: Decorations_**

**_Raven: Distraction duties_**

_"Distraction duties?" parroted the Azarathian, her eyebrow raising. "What the hell does that mean? You want me to hex him or something?"_

_"No, I want you to keep him distracted on his birthday whilst we set up. It's the easiest of the jobs, Raven," replied Robin, sensing her immediate reluctance. He smirked. "Surely even you can manage spending a day with Beast Boy."_

_"Yeah, I know the green bean drives you insane but one day ain't gonna kill ya," affirmed Cyborg, patting her on the shoulder. "'Sides it's for a good cause. We wanna make sure our little buddy has a good day, right?"_

_"Fine," grumbled Raven, feeling backed into a corner all of a sudden. "And what exactly am I supposed to do to distract him? We don't exactly share the same interests. It will be obvious if I suddenly ask him to go and do something with me. He'll be suspicious."_

_"Hmm, good point," acknowledged Robin, shrugging nonchalantly. "I guess we'll have to change it so that you're in charge of decorations then."_

_"Of course, I'm sure I could think of something," added the empath, quickly. Decorating the Tower was not her idea of a good time, as Robin well knew. She sighed in a defeated way. "But suggestions would be appreciated."_

_"Hey, there is one thing that I could suggest," chipped in Cyborg, rubbing his chin in thought. "On B's birthday there is a new video game coming out that he's been talkin' about for months. Why don't you suggest taking him down there and buying it for him for his birthday? Make out like it's your gift idea 'stead of mine."_

_Raven pursed her lips, but she had to admit the idea had merit. "Why wouldn't I just go down and buy it myself? What am I supposed to say if he asks why we're going down there?"_

_"Well, you know so little about video games," mused Robin, running his hand through his hair. "Maybe you overheard Cy talking about it but wanted to take him down there to make sure it's the right one."_

_"Yeah, and then maybe after you can suggest grabbing a drink before heading back. That should give us enough time to get it all set up," added Cy, tapping some logistical calculations into his arm. A wide grin was plastered on his face. "It's gonna be great, he'll be so excited when he sees it!"_

_Raven rolled her eyes and let out a laborious sigh. "Well, I suppose that's settled then. Video game store here I come. Hey, Robin, did you send that message to all of us?"_

_"Except Beast Boy. Why?" asked the leader, his eyebrow raised beneath his mask. Raven gave a gratified smirk and looked back down at her book. _

_"Well, at least your impending pain will provide some temporary recompense."_

_"What are you talking abou—"_

_Robin was cut off by a purple and red blur that knocked him sideways across ops. The two figures landed with a thud across from Raven who gave a small smile amidst Robin's groans of discomfort. _

_"That," she explained, gesturing to the hyperactive Tameranean who was practically bursting with glee as she pulled her boyfriend to his feet._

_"Oh, Robin! I am so excited to be part of friend Beast Boy's surprise party! I cannot wait to make the Tower look wonderful for his special day!"_

_"Star, you didn't tell B about this did you?" asked Cy, suddenly worried. Starfire fixed him with a glare._

_"Do you think I lack the tact, friend?" she replied, fire burning in her eyes. Cyborg shrank back slightly. "I merely told friend Beast Boy that I needed to speak with Robin on a matter of urgency and flew here right away."_

_Raven stared at her book resolutely, as they began to chatter in hushed voices about party planning. Her heart was hammering in her chest at the idea of spending the day with the changeling. The past year, she had done her best to spend as little time with him as possible one to one. Any time she did become close to him, the feelings would resurge and each time they did they were stronger. Sighing, the empath slipped away to the confines of her room, hoping the day wouldn't roll around too quickly._

But now the day was here. Raven's lilac eyes opened, and she tried to clear her mind. It was Beast Boy's birthday and she needed to ask him to come downtown with her, as per her promise to the other Titans. Sighing, she adjusted her cloak and fiddled with her hair. _'Well, here goes nothing.'_

The Azarathian trudged down the corridors to ops, her feet practically dragging behind her. This crush had become rather an inconvenience of late and she felt herself grinding her teeth in anticipation of how difficult the day may be. Yet it didn't seem fair. Beast Boy was still her friend, and he was turning eighteen. It was an important event. It was an occasion to be celebrated, and she wanted to show him that she cared.

As the door to ops slid open, she saw that the others were all standing around waiting for Beast Boy to arrive for breakfast. It wasn't hard to organise; he was still always the last one up.

"Everyone ready?" said Robin, as he noticed the empath entering the room. Everyone nodded in unison. "Planning committee, GO!"

Raven rolled her eyes and put her kettle on the hob. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it caffeinated at the very least. As she poured the hot water onto the teabag, the doors swished open one final time and Beast Boy sleepily entered ops.

"HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, FRIEND!" shouted Starfire, loudly. The changeling leapt about ten feet into the air in shock, before smiling at his friend gratefully. He ran his hand through his hair and tried to regain himself.

"Aw, thanks, Star. Hey guys," he stated, turning towards the others. The other three Titans chorused happy birthday to him at once, causing him to chuckle. "Thanks! Hey, I can't believe I'm officially an adult!"

"Neither can we," shot back Raven, but she had a small smile on her face. The changeling playfully stuck his tongue out at her, but he was smiling in return. Robin walked forward and placed his hand onto Beast Boy's shoulder.

"So, we all have some gifts for you," began Robin, guiding the young green man to a stool. There was a small pile of presents for him, and he opened them all eagerly.

"Wow, guys these are all amazing!" exclaimed Beast Boy, wading through various items. Comics, games, books on Fungi and even a tofu cookery book glinted back up at him. But he couldn't help noticing that Raven hadn't put a gift on the table. He'd observed she'd been more distant of late, but he felt a pang of hurt upon realising she may have forgotten his birthday. Nevertheless the others had tried hard, and he didn't want them to think he wasn't appreciative. Forcing a smile onto his face, he beamed at the team. "Thanks, you guys, you didn't have to get me anything."

"Beast Boy," came a voice from the other side of the room, that caused him to turn. "You may have noticed there is no gift from me. There is a reason for that."

"You forgot?" quipped Garfield, raising his eyebrows. This earnt him a signature Raven glare.

"No, I didn't _forget_. I couldn't buy the gift before today because it only came out today," explained the empath, dryly. She saw the young man's face light up and gave a victorious smirk.

"No way..."

"Yes way."

"You're getting me Super Robot Fighting 8?! But...you hate video games."

"But you don't," countered Raven, trying her best to make it believable. "And it's your birthday. So, I'm buying you a video game."

A few small tears seemed to come into the changeling's eyes, and Raven felt the happiness radiating off him along with something else. But it was gone in a nanosecond, replaced by excitement.

"That is AWESOME. When can I play it?"

"I wanted to make sure I got the right one. So, we need to head down and collect it from the store," explained Raven, following the script she'd been given by their leader. She looked towards Robin, slowly. "Is that okay, Robin?"

"Sure, we can call you if anything comes up," confirmed Robin, smiling. "It is Beast Boy's birthday, after all."

Beast Boy leapt out of his seat and ran off towards his room, his other gifts in his arms. "I'm gonna go get ready, be right back!"

Raven sighed with relief as he left the room. The other three looked at her. "Believable enough?"

"Who knew you were such a good actress, little lady?" laughed Cyborg, ruffling her hair. She fixed him with a glare and smoothed it down with her hand.

"Quit it," Raven grumbled, as Starfire clasped her hands together in glee.

"We are going to have the best time for his day of birth! I am going to go and retrieve the boxes of decorations upon your departure."

"Shh, he'll hear you," Cyborg whispered, hastily clapping his hand over Star's mouth. "You'd better go, Raven, before our princess here spills the beans."

Starfire's eyes glowed an ominous green and she mumbled angrily beneath the cybernetic man's hand. Raven sighed and stood to her feet. She looked over at Robin.

"What time do you want him back?"

"4pm should be perfect," replied Robin, nodding as he looked over the list. "That's only four hours. Think you can manage that?"

"I do love a challenge," replied Raven, sardonically. She vanished through the floor and apparated outside of the changeling's room, waiting patiently for him to reappear.

What she had told Robin was mostly true. But it would be more of a challenge than any of them realised. If she made it through the day without anything exploding, breaking or anything else it would be nothing short of a birthday miracle. Taking a deep breath and reciting her mantra she watched as the door opened and the beaming face she'd come to admire came into view.

"Ready to go?" asked Garfield, excitement lining his face. Raven nodded, but her thoughts betrayed her.

_'No, I'm not ready. Not even close.'_

* * *

They had decided to walk, much to Garfield's disdain. He scowled at her as they meandered down one of the busy streets in Jump City.

"I don't see why you couldn't have just transported us to the store," grumbled Beast Boy, childishly. "Or I could have flown and carried you. Anything would have been quicker than this!"

"What's so wrong with walking, Beast Boy?" asked Raven, trying to keep herself level and calm. She reminded herself that this was a mission, of sorts. The sense of detachment was helping her emotional state. "It's a nice day. Besides, it would cause a scene if we were to appear in the middle of a game store in a flash of magic."

"Yeah but then we'd already be there, _and_ I'd have the game in my hands!" laughed Beast Boy, giving her a playful shove. The sudden contact sent a strange feeling through the empath. So much for detachment.

Raven lowered her eyes to the pavement, not trusting herself to say anything. People bustled down the busy street past them. Some were pointing and staring, others were snapping shot of them on their smart phones. The two Titans ignored the scene they were creating; they were used to unwanted media attention and had learned to block it out. Raven glanced at her watch. Twelve forty-five. Only another three and a quarter hours to go.

The store came into view, and she felt the changeling leap up in excitement. "There's the store!"

"There it is," affirmed Raven, pulling her hood down as they approached the double doors. She looked around, taking in the overwhelming amount of colour and the intense brightness that the shop exuded. It certainly was a change from her usual bookshops or the 'depressing' café. Garfield saw her expression and faltered at the door, turning to look at her earnestly.

"You know, I can go in and pick it up by myself if you don't want to come inside," he said, kindly. Raven looked over at him, a small stab of happiness that he had considered her. She brushed it away with ease but managed a small smile.

"No, it's your birthday and your present so I will come in with you," nodded the empath, her violet eyes firm. "Let's go."

In honesty, there was nothing she would have loved more than to allow the green shapeshifter to go and get his copy of the game alone. But she wanted to show him that she was willing to do something nice for his birthday. They strode into the shop and Raven marched up to the desk. There was definitely a sense of purpose in her step.

_'Just treat it like a mission,'_ she reminded herself. _'It's just a mission to collect a stupid game for my stupid, handsome teammate—I mean, my cute friend—I mean my—'_

"Can I help you, um, ma'am?" came an uncertain voice which broke into her thoughts. She blinked at the baffled looking cashier, who was withering under her intense gaze. She glanced down at the nametag which read 'Justin'. Raven cleared her throat and straightened up, trying to give out a professional air.

"Good afternoon, Justin. I'm here to collect a game, under the name of 'Raven'," she stated, calmly. The young man stammered, his mouth dropping open.

"R-raven. You're _the _Raven from the Teen Titans? You—you play video games? No way!"

Raven felt her temple pounding suddenly, and she massaged it with her fingers. "No, it's not for me. It's for him."

She gestured with her thumb to the changeling who was standing behind her. He leaned around the empath's small frame and gave a little wave.

"Hey, how's it going dude?"

"No _freaking_ way...!" said Justin excitedly, fanboying on the spot. "Beast Boy!"

"Yes, it's for Beast Boy. Could we please get the game no—"

"No way, you are like my favourite Titan. It's so super cool how you can shapeshift into animals and stuff! Can you shift into a T-Rex right now?" asked Justin eagerly, cutting Raven off mid-sentence. The Azarathian chanted her mantra in response to the rude interruption. It was all she could do not to send the poor starstruck teen to another dimension. Garfield appeared cool, but Raven could tell he was a little embarrassed by the cashier's display.

"You know what? I don't think there's enough space in here, man," he answered, kindly. "And I'd probably end up wrecking the store. But you know, I could sign an autograph or whatever?"

"OH MY GOD, YES!" shouted Justin, leaping for a pad and pen. Raven sighed and turned to Beast Boy slowly.

"I'll let you speak privately with your _friend,_" she emphasised, slowly and in a low voice. "The game is all paid for, so you just need to collect it. Meet me outside when you're done."

Beast Boy nodded, as a pen and paper was thrust under his nose. The young cashier began gabbling about the new robot game at a million miles an hour, as Beast Boy nodded and laughed with him. Raven wandered back into the sunshine. People were still pushing past her on the street, going about their busy lives. She squinted at the ground, pulling her hood up to shade her eyes from the intense brightness. A few daring people snapped shots of her but scuttled away when she fixed them with a stare. Everyone loved Beast Boy; the fans, the media and other superheroes. She wondered what it felt like to be so easy going and have so many admirers. People seemed to be either terrified of her, or respectful of her. But it wasn't the same thing. No one had ever described her as their 'favourite' or depicted her powers as being 'cool'. In reality, she didn't mind how she was viewed. It was of little importance to her how the outside world perceived her. But perhaps, she reflected, it may be nice to be carefree and to be able to interact with others in such a natural way. To chat to people like a normal person. A normal person. What would _that_ feel like?

Raven huffed as she leant back against the brick wall, folding her arms and shifting her leg up to balance herself. That was the crux of it really; she didn't understand people the way that Beast Boy did, and the public could sense that. For Azar's sake, she was an empath who didn't understand her own emotions; what chance could she _possibly_ have of understanding others? The present situation with Beast Boy entered her mind. All of these strange emotions she was experiencing towards her fellow Titan were perplexing her and filling her with a deep and profound fear. As the nearby trees creaked and groaned under her power, Raven closed her eyes began to calm her mind.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

The empath turned sharply to see Beast Boy looking at her inquisitively. She shrugged and pulled her hood down again, looking at the parcel in his hands. "Nothing important. Did you get the game?"

"Oh yeah, I got the game," grinned the changeling, waggling the parcel by his face. He looked excited; the most excited Raven had seen him in a while. She offered a small smile and nodded. Beast Boy practically beamed. "Thanks for getting it for me – it's a really awesome gift!"

"You're welcome. I overheard Cyborg talking about it, and thought you would enjoy it," she muttered, remembering what the metal man had instructed her to say. "Happy Birthday, Beast Boy."

The goofy grin extended wider, and he wrapped his arms around her in a friendly hug. "Thanks, Rae!"

"Don't think you'll get away with that more than once," grumbled Raven, trying not to think about his close proximity. She could feel the colour rushing to her cheeks. "Just because it's your birthday."

"Oh, is my eighteenth birthday not good for even a _few_ Raes?" joked Garfield, pouting. "I thought that it would get me at least three or four."

"Don't push it," mumbled the empath, breaking away from his grasp. He laughed at her unease, as his stomach growled loudly. Raven looked at him in shock, then smirked.

"Are you _hungry_, by any chance?"

"Actually, I just realised in all the excitement I kinda...forgot about breakfast!" admitted Beast Boy, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Any chance of teleporting us back to the Tower this time?"

Raven paused, thinking of how to phrase what she needed to say. There were still a couple of hours before they were due back at the Tower. "How about...how about a birthday lunch?"

Beast Boy stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at her. "A what?"

Raven rolled her eyes and folded her arms. Her violet orbs narrowed frustratedly. "Lunch. For your birthday. I'm buying."

"You want to buy me lunch?" tried Garfield, still looking astonished. Raven tilted her head to the side and gave another small smile.

"You're really not getting the gist of this are you, Beast Boy? I didn't think it would be _that_ complicated, even for your brain capacity."

"Hey! It's not that, it's just..."

The changeling's words petered out, and he looked uncomfortable for a moment. Raven reached out gently with her senses and noticed the waves of hurt rolling off him. She swallowed; did the idea of spending time alone with her fill him with this much discomfort? Was the idea of her company really _that_ abhorrent to him?

"What?" the empath asked, fearing what the answer may be. Yet, to her surprise, Beast Boy raised his green eyes and looked her with a sorrowful gaze.

"It's just you haven't really wanted to hang out with me all that much lately, birthday or not. I guess...I guess I'm just surprised that you'd actually _want _to spend any time with me at all."

Raven turned towards him as people jostled past them, nudging by on their way down the street. A pang of guilt hit her chest and almost doubled her over. She couldn't deny the fact that she had been avoiding him lately, but she knew that couldn't tell him the whole truth of why either. The sadness he was emitting was unbearable to her senses, and she knew that something needed to be said. The empath played with her fingers beneath her cloak awkwardly.

"Beast Boy, I—it's not that I don't want to spend time with you. It's just," began Raven, feeling more flustered as the moments passed by. She could feel his gaze on her, his closeness to her becoming more apparent with each passing moment. A vague answer was all she could muster. "It's complicated."

Beast Boy smiled, but there was a sadness behind it. "When is it ever not with you, Raven."

Suddenly, a person pushed past the empath hard, and she tumbled forwards towards the changeling. Reflexively he reached out and caught her, before she fell onto the hard cement floor. She looked up towards his face, feeling his hot breath on her cheek. Her words caught in her throat. "S-sorry."

She wasn't sure what she was apologising for; the ambiguous comment or the tumble. Either way, it didn't seem to matter. At this proximity, her brain wasn't functioning correctly. Her emotions were scraping to get out, her soul-self threatening to break the nearby panes of glass on the window frontage. Ominous cracking was vaguely audible for a moment. She swallowed, holding on to her inner self desperately, waiting for Beast Boy to respond.

"It's okay," he replied eventually, gently righting her. His eyes never left hers, she noticed. It was sending strange shivers across her back and up her neck. His touch was like electricity igniting her skin. The heat was pooling again, rising from her stomach into her chest. Her heart beat quickened as she tried to regain control of the situation. Something was happening between them both in the moment, and she did not intend to have any part in it. It was dangerous; it was unknown. She lowered her arms and took a shaky step back from him. The warmth was still within her and all around her and the atmosphere felt thick with it. Beast Boy looked just as awkward as she did, as though he was trying to think of something to say. After a couple of moments, he stammered some words out.

"S-so...pizza?"

* * *

The pizza place wasn't too far from the game store, and the two Titans walked there in silence. The moment that they had shared was left unspoken between them, with neither party wanting to broach the subject. Upon arriving, Raven managed to send a quick message to Robin as Beast Boy was ordering his food.

**_"At pizza place, seems clueless at the moment. Be home for 4."_**

The empath noticed the time was now nearing 2pm, meaning that her distraction charade was almost coming to an end. As the food arrived, the silence was broken by the green changeling, as he was munching his vegan supreme.

"So, what does it feel like to be eighteen?"

Raven shrugged, taking a bite of her own food and wiping her fingers on a napkin. "You know, the same as ever."

"Come on, you can't tell me it doesn't feel _any _different at all."

"That's what I'm telling you, Beast Boy," replied the empath, giving a wry smile. "Honestly, it's no big deal. It's just another year."

"You're still weird about birthdays, huh?" asked the shapeshifter, reading between the lines. Raven felt a small blush lining her face and she shrugged again.

"Why change the habit of a lifetime," she quipped, taking another bite of her food and hoping he would let the subject lie. Thankfully, he laughed at her attempts at humour and the answer seemed to satisfy him. Just then, Beast Boy's eyes caught sight of something going on outside and he was suddenly pensive. Raven followed his eyeline to a couple with a young child outside. The boy would be about five or six, blonde hair and blue eyes. The parents were talking and laughing with him as they walked down the road. They pointed to the various buildings and the park which was their clear destination. The little fellow tottered in delight, his chubby legs barely contending with the speed he wanted them to go. His parents laughed at his antics, before following him down the street and linking hands. Raven's eyes looked back towards her green companion; she could feel a sadness and guilt rolling off him and noticed the wetness of his eyes.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she mimicked, tilting her head. His emerald eyes turned to look at her, and he managed a cynical smile.

"Nothing important," he mirrored, turning his attention back towards his food. Beast Boy was quiet for a time, and Raven didn't want to intrude further on his thoughts. Although her powers told her that there was something deeper going on, she didn't want to press the matter. Using her powers in that way always felt invasive, even though sometimes she wasn't necessarily 'looking', and things seeped out. It still felt like an invasion of her teammates privacy to make assumptions based on what she had sensed. So, she finished her food quietly, glancing over at the clock every now and then to keep an eye on the time. A few brief points of conversation came and went as the minutes ticked on. As Raven paid the cheque dutifully, Beast Boy looked at her with a genuine smile.

"Hey, thanks for spending some time with me. It was nice," he admitted, picking up his parcel and standing from the seat. Raven returned the smile, another pang of guilt hitting her. Beast Boy shrugged and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "I know we don't always see eye to eye and stuff, but I've missed hanging out with you."

Raven felt her breath hitch in her throat. The feelings were rising again, blush creeping upon her face. She could feel her heart starting to pound, blood coursing around her at a strangely alarming rate. Swallowing her dry throat, she tried to find her voice. It came out as nothing more than a whisper. "You too."

The green teenager's sensitive hearing picked up the statement, despite her hoarseness. He let out a goofy grin, his fang poking into his lip. "Cool. Maybe we could do it again sometime. Anyways, shall we head back? I totally can't _wait_ to play my game!"

Raven bit her lip. There was still half an hour to go and in her present state she felt unable to think straight. She stumbled over her words, a quick thought entering her head. "U-um, sure. But can we walk back?"

Beast Boy's eyebrows raised in surprise, as they exited the pizzeria. "Seriously, Raven – this again? What, are you scared of 'spooking' the tin man now or something? Making Starfire throw her pudding of happiness all over the ceiling? Frightening Robin so much so that he kicks our asses reflexively? Come on, you could just teleport us back in two seconds. Or we could fly—"

"I just...I can't right now," tried the empath, desperately trying to claw the situation back. She gripped his sleeve desperately to get his attention. "Can't we just walk back? Please?"

Beast Boy let out a laboured sigh. "Fine. I don't know what's going on with you, Raven. But I know better than to try and get it out of you."

"Thank you," breathed the empath, the relief running around her body. To let the other Titans down at the last hurdle would have been disastrous. Suddenly, she realised she was still clinging to his shirt and she hurriedly let go of the fabric. Her heart started to pound again. The physiological reactions the changeling presently elicited from her were ridiculous. She chided herself internally as she mumbled a brief apology. "Um, sorry."

Garfield raised his eyebrows again, glancing at her hands then back to her flushed face. "Seriously, what is going on with you today? Are you _sure _you're okay? Because, whatever it is, you know you can talk to me, right?"

They were walking down the street, side by side. Raven tilted her head so that she could look at him sidelong. His expression was earnest and filled with concern. It felt deceitful and unkind to withhold information from him. He was her friend, her teammate. Yet she knew that she couldn't tell him. Her powers and her mind were barely clinging on as it was. A confession of her feelings may just throw her over the edge. She swallowed, nerves creeping up again. "Yes, I know that I can talk to you, Beast Boy. Thank you for your concern. I promise, I will tell you someday. But today, it's your birthday, and I want you to have a good time."

"I _am_ having a good time," replied the teen, smiling breezily. "Look, cards on the table. You guys are the closest thing I've ever had to a family, and I can't believe you all went to a load of trouble to make me feel special today. Dude it's been cool. Like, super cool. You couldn't ruin it by talking to me about whatever's on your mind."

_'Wanna bet?'_ came a sarcastic voice in Raven's mind. She frowned and crushed it beneath a mental rock. Sighing, she pulled her hood down and tried to give the changeling something more tangible.

"Some changes to my powers have been occurring lately. It's been difficult to get a handle on but...I'm working through it. I'm sorry I've felt the need to isolate myself, but it was necessary for everyone's safety," she began, her voice monotone and low. Her violet eyes were trained on the floor, her hair tumbling about her shoulders as they walked down the sunny path. "I agree with you. The team is my family too. You are all very important to me, hence why I decided it was essential to resolve these issues alone before they became too...distracting."

Garfield was listening quietly, nodding at all the appropriate points. He tilted his head to the side, a question on his lips. "And has it worked?"

Raven let out a deep sigh. "So far I have been unsuccessful in my attempts to prevent the issues from getting worse. If anything, they seem to be becoming deeper and more entrenched."

"You know," replied the changeling, swinging his arms as he walked. "Sometimes if you resist something too hard it's exhausting. Sometimes you need to let yourself feel it so that you can make sense of it. Then you can move on."

Raven's head snapped up to attention at his words. She digested them for a moment, then turned her head fully towards him. "That's...pretty smart."

"I have my moments," quipped the green shapeshifter, chortling. "From time to time."

"So, what you're saying is that I should allow the fee—um, issues to permeate? Allow them to wash over me so that I can come to understand them and resolve them?" asked Raven, genuinely curious. Her lilac eyes were fixed on him, her pace slowing slightly.

"Yes. Or accept them, I guess," shrugged Beast Boy, turning his eyes heavenwards. "Sometimes there are things we just have to accept we _can't _change. You know that better than anyone, Raven."

Her head swivelled back towards the pavement, flicking across the cracks in the path as she thought over what was being said. "Hmm, I see. I hadn't thought about it that way."

Beast Boy laughed, his eyes crinkling at the sides. "See that's the other thing. You always lock yourself away when there's an issue. Sometimes communicating to one of us what's going on _might_ just be helpful, you know?"

"Ah. You're saying don't bottle it up."

"Right," grinned the changeling, giving her a friendly poke. "You always did like to read between the lines."

"Thank you, Sigmund," smiled Raven, feeling lighter all of a sudden. It was strange, the words from the changeling appeared to have had some effect on her mood already. She couldn't quite put her finger on why.

"Who?" asked Beast Boy, eyes widening in curiosity.

"Sigmund Freud," replied the empath, turning to look at him. A blank stare met her. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "The famous psychoanalyst?"

"Nope," said the changeling, his eyes turning back towards the path. "Never heard of him."

"And normality is restored once again," observed the Azarathian, dryly. Beast Boy chuckled, and they fell into silence for a little while. Eventually, the familiar shape of the T from their tower became visible in the near distance. Garfield turned towards Raven, a small smile on his face. Raven looked at him, a feeling touching her chest that she couldn't name.

"I was wrong," he remarked, causing her to frown in puzzlement. "I think that walk was just what we needed."

Raven smiled, one of her rare genuine smiles and pulled her hood back up reflexively. "I think you may be right."

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3 - The Temperature's Rising

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe. Review replies at the end of the chapter!_**

* * *

**_Chapter Three – 'The temperature's rising'_**

The elevator in the tower flew the two Titans upwards towards ops. Beast Boy held his package aloft, proudly. "Soon...soon, precious one."

"Are you _seriously_ talking to the video game?" asked Raven, sarcastically. Her eyebrow quirked. "You sound like Gollum."

Beast Boy turned and looked at the empath in surprise. "Did you just make a Lord of the Rings joke?"

Raven shrugged nonchalantly. "I do read, Beast Boy. I haven't lived under a rock my entire life."

She paused, turning towards him and giving a small, wry smile. "Unlike you, Sigmund."

"Ha _ha,_" replied the changeling, sticking his tongue out at her playfully. He gave her a thoughtful look. "You really are mysterious, huh?"

"You have no idea," stated Raven, dryly. The doors pinged and opened on the floor to ops, and they both exited accordingly. However, both teammates stopped dead in their tracks when they saw what had become of their customary metallic corridor.

It was covered from floor to ceiling in foliage. Thick, dense jungle foliage. They stood and stared for a moment, before trying to make sense of what they were seeing. Raven moved a large leaf with her powers. "Did that elevator take us to another dimension?"

Beast Boy listened intently and sniffed the air. "Yeah, either that or it dumped us in the middle of the dense African jungle. Weird."

"What?" asked Raven, gently picking her way through the vegetation. The young man turned towards her, a strange look on his face.

"It even _smells _like Africa," he said, emerald eyes fixing on hers. The empath could feel waves of happiness and sadness rolling from him in equal measure. She tilted her head.

"You've been there before?"

"Yeah, I used to live there with my parents," responded the changeling, pushing through a particularly condensed section. The ops door was in plain sight, and had vines hanging around it decoratively. "But the only person who knows that is..."

He trailed off and stood staring at the ops door for a long moment. Raven could feel his apprehension, his excitement. He was a mixture of all kinds of emotions; too many to count. She gently touched his arm in a friendly way. "Shall we go inside?"

"I...I don't know," responded Beast Boy, hesitantly. Raven lifted his arm which held his prized game and gave a tiny smile.

"This won't play out here in the jungle, you know," she pressed, gently. The Azarathian wasn't sure what was going on in his mind. She also had no idea how Starfire had known about his African roots. She sincerely hoped that the décor of the Tower wasn't going to ruin the young man's day, judging by the waves of guilt that were now washing over her. She grimaced, deciding there was no going back now. What was done, was done. The damage could be repaired later. "Maybe we should just go in."

Garfield turned to look at her again, his eyes slightly damp. He gave his signature goofy grin and lowered his voice to nothing more than a whisper. "You know I can hear them all in there, right?"

Raven gave a tiny, imperceptible chuckle. They always forgot the young man's superpowers. For some reason, he was always underestimated. She shrugged, giving a light whisper back. "Then you know we have to go in."

"This what today was all about? You were babysitting me?" asked Beast Boy, suddenly looking a little bit hurt. Raven shook her head vehemently, her voice still a low whisper.

"It wasn't like that, I wanted to do it," she replied, firmly. There was truth in her words, despite her strange feelings for the changeling of late. She had in part been dreading the day, but only from the point of view of her pesky crush. Spending time with Beast Boy was never really tiresome to her these days; in truth she quite enjoyed it. Raven sighed at the complexity of it all, then continued to speak. "Yes, someone needed to keep you busy. I'm not good at all the other bits, so this seemed like a good way for me to be part of things. Besides, I wanted to do something nice for your birthday; you deserve as much. Now, you need to go in there and face everyone."

Garfield nodded, seemingly content with her answer. He took a deep breath, wiping his eyes and trying to calm his breathing. Raven felt inspiration hit her suddenly and gave him a sidelong look. "Remember, sometimes we have to face these things, not fight them."

The changeling gave a fanged grin. "Huh, good advice. Someone _really_ smart must have told you that."

"Hush," Raven replied, gently shoving him in the direction of ops. She was suddenly aware of the warm temperature of the room. The close proximity to him. The way that the sweat was beading at his hairline. The way that her heart had started to pound. Maybe she could just...give in to it? Would it be so bad? Noticing her sudden change in state, Beast Boy gave her a strange look. She stared at him for a moment too long, afraid to move and afraid to speak. He smiled at her again, seemingly unaware of the thoughts racing through her mind. She swallowed. She couldn't do this. It was too much of a risk. Taking a step back, she pulled her hood firmly up and turned to the door silently waiting for him to be ready.

The young man turned and took another deep breath. "Here we go."

The doors to ops swished open, and darkness was all that greeted them. Then, there was a flash and a crack as confetti rained down from the ceiling. A large banner, which read 'Happy Birthday, BB!' hung from the ceiling. In a flash of colour and light that made Raven's eyes twinkle, everyone leapt out in unison.

"SURPRISE!"

* * *

Starfire had done an admirable job in trying to keep the jungle theme throughout the Tower. She had hung vines with twinkling fairy lights at every possible juncture. Plants and foliage poked around every piece of furniture in the house. The floor was scattered with leaves and petals, making a carpet of nature throughout ops. Cyborg had tried to keep up with the Tameranean's meticulous planning and had prepared an African inspired feast for the young man with vegan options, despite his vehement dislike of tofu. It was, after all, his best friend's birthday. Robin had organised for the whole Titans' crew to be there, including some special guests from the Justice League. There was even a live band playing music in the background. But at the centre of the room, there was a very special person. Garfield's eyes lit up as soon as he saw her standing beneath one of the twinkling vines.

"RITA!" he yelled, before running full pelt across the room towards her. Everyone briefly stopped what they were doing at the suddenness of his cry. But once they realised what was happening, the buzz in the room resumed. He gripped the older woman in a tight hug, and she squealed in delight. Raven wandered over towards Starfire, who was gleefully floating by the buffet table with a bottle of mustard in her slender hand. Her eyes lit up as her friend approached, and she fixed her with a wide smile.

"Friend!" she exclaimed, taking a slurp of her mustard before setting it down. "Do you like the theme of the party?"

Raven pulled her hood down, shaking her lilac hair from her face. "You really went to a lot of trouble, Star. It looks great."

"Tell me, was friend Beast Boy pleased with the design? You were the only one to see his first reaction!"

"Um, yeah," mumbled Raven, trying to find the right words to say. Starfire's eager persona was difficult to disappoint. "I think he was...surprised."

"Excellent!" responded the princess, clapping her hands together happily. "Then it was a success. I must say, some of the earthly plants were _most _uncooperative and would not stay in their proper place. I shall be saddened to have to remove it all, for I think it looks wondrous."

"It's certainly...innovative," replied Raven, evenly. She looked around the room, at all of the faces. She hadn't seen some of the guests in years. "Hey, how did you know to do this jungle theme anyway?"

"Oh, friend Robin recommended it to me," answered Starfire, picking her mustard back up again and taking another swig. "He said that Elasti-girl had once told him friend Beast Boy has a connection with Africa. He decided that it would be most touching for us to prepare the Tower in this way, given our friend's roots."

"Oh," responded Raven, unsure what else to say. She didn't know why, but she got the sense that Robin didn't know the whole picture. Whilst she had definitely felt happiness and excitement rolling off the changeling, she had also felt fear and guilt.

_'Sometimes birdy boy isn't quite as sharp as he thinks he is,'_ she thought, gently shaking her head. She cast her eyes over the food. There were lots of different things on offer, the likes of which she had never seen before. But she spotted a plate of waffles at the back and gave a small relieved sigh.

Starfire followed her eyeline and giggled, before floating to the back and collecting the plate to hand to her. "I had friend Cyborg make these for you. I am aware that exotic party food is most _definitely_ not your favourite."

"That was thoughtful of you, Kori," smiled Raven, taking a bite of one of the waffles and relishing in the taste. She felt strangely hungry, although she hadn't eaten so long ago. She chalked it up to all the walking she had done and took a second bite. "Thank you."

"You are welcome! Thank you for looking after our honoured guest today. Tell me, was it as difficult as you assumed?"

"Actually, it was pretty nice," admitted the empath, a small glow rising to her cheeks. She tried to force back the feelings as hard as she could and took another bite of her waffle. Once she had calmed down enough to respond she swallowed. "He can't wait to play that game. I'll never understand."

"You are both so different," observed the Tameranean, landing on the floor and gently wrapping her arm around Raven. The Azarathian tensed at the contact but allowed it. "Yet so similar."

Without another word, the princess released the empath from her grasp and wandered off into the room, towards Robin and Speedy. Raven froze in time, placing her waffles down on the side as she processed her friend's words. Her emoticlones went into full blown panic, her mind suddenly blowing up with noise.

_'What does she mean by that? She's got some nerve being that rude!'_

_'Does she know? Oh dear, I hope she doesn't know. I'm so scared he will find out.'_

_'How could she know?! No one knows! Don't be such a wuss about it.'_

_'If she does know and tells anyone then I will KILL HER.'_

_'There is no possible way that she can know for certain, even if she has her suspicions. So perhaps, given where we presently are, we should all just __**calm down.**__'_

Raven sighed in relief, as her rational brain kicked back in. Relieved that her connection to Knowledge was so strong, she took a few deep breaths and uttered her mantra to herself.

"Raven, isn't it?"

The unexpectedness of the voice made her turn abruptly; her lilac hair swishing about her shoulders, her eyes wide. The kind eyes of an older woman looked back at her, a smile on her attractive face. The empath found her words, nodding as she spoke.

"Yes, it is," she responded, trying to regain some composure. "Elasti-girl, it's nice to see you again."

"Please, call me Rita," smiled the older woman, her dark eyes twinkling in the soft light. "Garfield tells me that you took him for lunch today and bought him a very thoughtful present."

"Ah, well," replied Raven, awkwardly. She felt strangely comfortable in the woman's presence, yet she couldn't put a finger on why. "I did take Beast Boy for lunch, yes. But it was really the whole team's idea as part of arranging this."

The empath gestured around the room, her eyes lingering on the décor and the food. "I'm not much good at organising social things, making food or decorating rooms. So, spending time with Beast Boy whilst they arranged it all was the least that I could do."

Rita laughed, her tinkling tones making Raven look round again in surprise. "I do hope that spending time with my son wasn't _too _much of a burden for you."

Raven felt hotness hit her cheeks, embarrassment seeping over her like a cold flannel. "No, it's not like that. I mean I do enjoy spending time with Beast Boy. He's my friend and teammate, it's just...I mean...it's just that I—"

Rita placed her hand on the young woman's shoulders and gave her a knowing smile. "Raven, I was teasing you. I know that you are all great friends."

Relief flooded over her, mixed with the mingling awkwardness of what had just occurred. Raven, the half-demon daughter of Trigon was _stumbling _over herself because of her feelings for a boy. She could scream in frustration, her demon blood bubbling to the surface, enraged by the actions of its vessel. She took a deep and calming breath then looked Rita firmly in the eyes. She needed to control her soul self, to prevent it from getting out and wreaking havoc across Starfire's carefully placed decorations.

"I apologise, I haven't felt like myself lately," managed the Azarathian, her amethyst eyes unfaltering. "It's been a strange few months. My powers have hit certain issues which I have needed to explore and resolve."

"I see," responded Elasti-girl, her dark hair neatly framing her face. She released the young empath from her grasp and straightened herself. "It's not easy being a metahuman, dear. I know. But you seem like a smart young lady. I'm sure you will work it all out, given time."

"Right," acknowledged Raven, nodding. She decided to change the subject swiftly. "Still, it's good that Robin was able to organise you coming tonight."

"Oh, I wouldn't have missed it for the world!" exclaimed the woman, her tinkling laughter making another appearance. "Garfield is still my little boy, even if he is eighteen. Although I do wish the young princess had picked a different theme."

Raven's eyes narrowed. She had said the last part almost beneath her breath, but the empath had heard it; a pang of pain from her accenting the comment. Raven felt a sudden urge to know more. "What do you mean?"

"Hmm? Oh, ignore me, dear. I was just rambling," replied Rita, her eyes glazing over again. Her emotions became immediately unreadable once more, a tip that Raven could only assume she had learned from her husband. She knew that the woman wouldn't break down again; the moment had passed. Rita smiled brightly. "Anyway, Raven, again thank you for looking after my Garfield. He is very precious to me, and such a special soul. I do hope that you enjoy the rest of the evening. It was lovely to see you again."

"You too," remarked Raven, allowing a small polite smile to grace her lips. Rita gently reached up and touched the young woman's face, as though she was touching a precious jewel.

"You know, he's right. You do have a beautiful smile," she observed, before turning and leaving a stunned empath in her wake.

* * *

The festivity was in full swing; the band had started to play some more lively music and Cyborg had unfurled his retro disco ball from the ceiling, turning ops into a small dancefloor. Twinkling lights were emitted all over the space, giving a proper party feel. The drinks and food were flowing, and Raven was sat quietly in the corner trying to keep a low profile. She was beginning to wonder when an appropriate time would be to slip away into her room without appearing rude.

"Having fun?"

The empath looked over to see the familiar masked face of their leader looking at her inquisitively. She sighed, though it was partly with relief that the disruption wasn't more honorary Titans with whom she needed to make small talk.

Raven quirked her eyebrow, and in a sardonic voice mumbled her response. "Masses."

"Parties never were your thing, were they?" asked Robin, pulling a seat up and reclining next to his friend. "I'm surprised you've lasted this long."

"So am I," replied Raven, reaching for her drink. It was a peach flavoured iced tea, perhaps the most exciting drink she was likely to take outside of her usual routine of herbal teas and water. "But it's been a good evening for him."

She gestured to the green changeling, who was up on the dancefloor with Cyborg, Bumblebee, Jinx and Kid Flash. They were all spinning wildly as they attempted different dance trends unsuccessfully and then cackled with delight. Raven could feel the happiness radiating off him and it was infectious. It took her a couple of moments to realise that she had a small smile on her face simply by watching their antics.

"I guess it shows how much he must mean to you," said Robin, thoughtfully. He corrected himself. "All of us mean to you."

"Of course," huffed the empath, feeling slightly put out that it would even be in question. She recalled her conversation with Starfire all those months ago. "You all know that I want the best for you. I would hope that goes without saying. Even if parties aren't _my _thing, they're yours. So here I am."

"Well, we're lucky to have a friend and teammate like you," confirmed the boy wonder, clapping a gloved hand onto her shoulder supportively. "But if you need some space, you know that it's fine to go, right? You've done more than enough for Beast Boy today. He'll understand."

Raven smiled. The leader knew her so well; not simply because of their psychic connection but because of their enduring friendship. She gave him a long look. "Is that code for you giving me permission to abandon ship, oh great leader?"

Robin laughed, releasing her shoulder and turning back to watch the others having fun. "Something like that."

Starfire had dragged Aqualad onto the floor and was bouncing him around in an attempt to get him to dance. He looked mortified and was trying desperately to find an escape from the Tameranean's vice like grip. The boy wonder shook his head and grimaced at the scene, clearly amused and exhausted in equal measure. "I don't know, Raven. I might not be far behind you at this rate."

Raven snorted lightly, laughter on her lips. A figure approached them in the dimly lit room, face fixed with a smile. "Hello again both of you."

"Hi Rita," said Raven, making eye contact with the woman warmly. Robin matched her greeting, as Elasti-girl joined them.

"Everything okay?" he enquired, a twinge of concern in his voice. Rita nodded reassuringly.

"Oh, I'm fine thank you, Robin," responded Rita, sweetly. "It's been a wonderful evening. But I need to head off, I'm afraid. Steve allowed me to attend with a strict curfew. We're in the middle of a rather important Doom Patrol mission at the moment and he's very stressed."

Raven noticed Robin's jaw set slightly at the mention of Elasti-girl's spouse. "A shame that Mento was unable to attend."

"He's, ah, not so good with parties, dear," replied Rita, trying to be gentle. "My husband is a rather _difficult_ man at times, but he does mean well. He has sent a card to Garfield, which I have passed on to him."

Robin nodded, and Raven sat waiting patiently watching the two interacting. It was noteworthy to her that Robin felt some frustration over the flakiness of Beast Boy's fatherly figure. There was some resonance there she was certain, but decided it was best left to the boy wonder to resolve. Perhaps she wasn't the only complex one after all. Rita turned to face her, a warm smile on her face.

"It was a pleasure to see you as always, Raven," she said, grasping the young woman in a tight embrace as though they were old friends. "You take care of yourself, dear. And both of you will take care of Garfield, won't you?"

Raven tensed at the sudden contact from the woman, but gently placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. Elasti-girl smelled like expensive perfume and luxurious make up. "Of course, Rita. We will keep an eye on him."

"I'm certain he'll be keeping an eye on you too," whispered Rita, before pulling back to look at the startled young woman. She smiled then looked towards Robin. "All of you. Keep in touch."

Without another word, she gave Raven's shoulder a squeeze and Robin a light wave before heading in Beast Boy's direction. The two Titans fell into a deep silence for a few moments.

"There you go, now at least you won't be the first person to leave," quipped Robin, giving the empath a sideways glance. Raven glared at him playfully but didn't offer any response. She and the leader often sat in comfortable silences, so she didn't always feel the need to fill the space with senseless chatter. However, her lilac eyes narrowed, as she noticed something strange taking place over at the food table. She looked towards Robin.

"Hey, what are they doing?"

Robin followed her gaze over to Speedy, Kid Flash, Hotspot and Herald. They were all stood around conspiratorially, talking in hushed voices. Robin rubbed his chin in thought then leaned towards the empath. "I think they've snuck in some alcohol."

"Huh," shrugged Raven, immediately disinterested. "Figures."

"Yeah, they probably think it would be funny to get Beast Boy drunk on his birthday."

"Of course they do," replied the empath, rolling her eyes. Boys really were _so _predictable. Especially the particular boys in question. She looked at Robin for a moment. "So...you're just going to let them?"

"Hey, tonight I'm not Beast Boy's leader," responded Robin, giving her a stern look. "I'm not going to parent him. If he decides to drink that's up to him."

Raven gave the young man another glare. "No, but you _are _his friend, aren't you? Don't friends look out for one another? He's not _choosing _to get drunk if they spike his drink without him knowing."

"Raven," contested Robin, firmly. "Whilst I agree, it's a little alcohol. At worst, he'll feel a bit hungover tomorrow. I already have the reputation as a hard-ass around here, I'm not about to interfere with their harmless fun."

"Doesn't sound all that harmless to me," grumbled Raven, folding her arms. The idea of a half-drunk gorilla pounding around the floors of the Tower sent a shiver through her. And that was _best _case scenario. "Well, maybe if _you're_ not going to go and tell him then _I _will."

"You do what you think is best," said Robin, folding his own arms stubbornly. "I'm not going to stand in your way."

Raven felt her temple throbbing. Their similarity provided her with such deep irritation at times. He was like that older brother who would always think they knew best. She stood from her position, realising she would now have to go through with her threat or risk losing face in front of her teammate. Appreciating the irony that she was just as stubborn as he was, Raven stomped off towards the centre of the dancefloor defiantly. The lights from the disco ball and the loud music sent her slightly dizzy as she pressed her way through the hordes of superheroes. People looked confusedly at her, as though they were surprised to see her there. She shrugged internally; it wasn't like she didn't expect it. Normally she wouldn't have been seen _dead _on a dancefloor, but she wanted to speak to Beast Boy and that took priority over her pride. She steeled herself that she could say goodnight at the same time and then disappear to her room with a clear conscience. She had done her part for the day; her mission was complete. She was a free woman. The pang of disappointment she felt in her chest at the thought was easily buried.

The changeling was still laughing and having a good time with Cyborg and Starfire. She gripped her friend's arm, the Tameranean turning in surprise then grinning with joy. "Friend Raven!"

"Star, I need to speak to Beast Boy," shouted Raven, through the loud noisy room. Starfire quirked her head but nodded. She pulled the empath through the people and into the centre of their group. Beast Boy locked eyes with her and tilted his head in astonishment.

"Raven? What are you doing?"

"I need to speak to you," said the empath, feeling her vocal cords strain above the loud music. She fixed him with a small wry smile. "If you can bear the idea of not dancing like an idiot for two minutes."

The changeling laughed at her, grasping her waist and pulling her towards him. He spun her round a few times, as she tried to wriggle free. "There now _you're _dancing like an idiot too."

"_Beast Boy,_" hissed Raven, her tone dangerous. "I need to talk to you. _Now._"

His eyes creased with amusement at her discomfort, but he shrugged amicably. "Okay, what's up?"

Suddenly, Raven could feel the closeness of everyone around her. Their emotions pushing, clawing into her body. She began to lose sense of who she was; where did they end, and she begin? Happiness, excitement, elation, playfulness and joy. They all swished through her at the speed of light and her fingernails dug into Garfield's top as she tried to prevent herself from swaying and falling to the ground. She closed her eyes, the world pounding and throbbing around her. "This was a bad idea."

"Are you okay?" asked Beast Boy, now looking concerned. The amusement had gone from his face as he propped her upright. She shook her head, trying to get herself free from the swimming mass of emotions in which she now was drowning. But there was no lifejacket, no way to keep afloat. She began to sink down to her knees like a heavy stone plummeting beneath the waves. Beast Boy crouched with her, gently lowering the empath to the floor. He leant over, breath tickling her ear as he spoke. "Can you teleport us into the corridor?"

The empath chanted her mantra and focused on moving them outside. A black Raven erupted from the floor and swallowed them both up. Cyborg looked at Starfire in confusion. "They okay?"

Starfire shrugged but there was a strange smile on her face. Cy looked at her quizzically but didn't press it as the music suddenly changed. He grabbed hold of her arms excitedly. "Aw YEAH! This is my jam!"

Star squealed with excitement as they span around enthusiastically on the makeshift dance floor, the other two Titan's disappearance all but forgotten.

* * *

The black Raven appeared in the hallway and then was gone in a flash. The green changeling and the empath were left crouched on the floor in the corridor. Sweat was beading at Raven's hairline, her hands pressed into her temples so hard that she had left red marks. Beast Boy touched her shoulder gently.

"Hey, it's okay. We're out, you can breathe again."

"S-sorry," breathed Raven, trying to centre herself desperately as the emotions she had felt began to ebb away gradually. Reality began to come back to her; she felt her soul-self firmly rooting itself back in her body. "There were too many people, I felt totally overwhelmed."

"I'm the one who should apologise," replied Beast Boy, tilting her chin upwards. "I should have known better than to mess around with you like that. I sometimes forget how difficult stuff like that is for you."

"As do I," admitted the empath, sitting down on the floor and leaning back against the wall as she regained her composure. She closed her eyes, and felt the foliage envelop her. It really was strangely like being in a jungle. She breathed in and out deeply, the scent of the exotic flowers soothing her. "Since Trigon, things have felt much more controllable and yet there are still moments of overpowering panic."

Beast Boy turned and sat next to her, also sinking into the greenery. He was almost perfectly camouflaged by the plants. He turned to look at her, running his hands through his hair. His skin was shining slightly from the exertion of dancing all evening, but he barely seemed out of breath. "Yeah, I guess it we never really know how we'll react to stress situations until we're put in them."

They lulled into silence. Raven bit her lip, feeling suddenly awkward in the quiet corridor. She looked back at him. "Good birthday?"

"_Awesome _birthday," confirmed Garfield, giving her a thumbs up. "Got the best presents, our fun day out, saw a bunch of the guys I haven't seen in ages, danced with Star and Cyborg. Man, Cy even made me a _vegan_ platter. Can you believe that?"

"No," admitted Raven, a small smile on her face. "A once in a lifetime event, I feel."

"Right?" grinned Garfield, his happiness incorrigible. "So yeah, all in all it's been a good day. Plus, I got to see Rita, too."

"It's a shame that Mento couldn't make it," said Raven, in a low voice. Beast Boy looked at her, his face becoming suddenly stoic. She felt sheepish, realising that perhaps mentioning his adopted father wasn't the right thing to do. "Sorry, it's just...Rita told me that he wasn't able to come and—"

"It's fine, Raven," reassured the changeling, a little warmth creeping back into his expression. "Steve is one of a kind. Thankfully. Seeing Rita was enough for me."

"She's so nice," declared Raven, shyly. Garfield's eyes shone proudly, and he nodded with vehemence.

"Yeah, she's pretty great. I definitely felt like my life changed for the better when I met her."

They lapsed into a more comfortable silence for a few moments. Raven looked at the floor that was carpeted with petals and leaves. You could almost believe you weren't in the Tower. It was like a peaceful garden, away from the noise and chaos of the party. Beast Boy cleared his throat and she turned towards him.

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh," stated Raven, remembering her stubborn decision. It had momentarily slipped her mind, having had her mini meltdown. She shook her head, pushing her lilac hair from her eyes. "I just wanted to tell you that I think Speedy and the gang were planning to spike your drink tonight."

"With what?"

"Alcohol," said Raven, shrugging slightly. "I was informed by Robin that I was overreacting in wanting to tell you and that it was no big deal. But I felt you should know. So here we are."

The changeling laughed openly. "I always forget that Robin isn't the most stubborn one on the team."

Raven gave a wry smile. "Not even close."

"Well, thanks for caring anyway," smiled Garfield, a genuine expression on his face. "My nose probably would have picked it up, but it's always good to know when you're about to be pranked. Means you can plan a counter-prank."

"Ah. So, this is prank warfare?"

"More like prank club. You know the first rule about prank club."

"You don't talk about prank club?"

Beast Boy's eyes goggled at her, and his mouth dropped open. "Now a _Fight Club _reference? Who are you and what have you done with Raven?"

"Again, you do realise that Fight Club is a book?" asked Raven, shuffling up the wall a little. "It was written in the nineties by Chuck Palahniuk about a delusional insomniac."

"Huh. Well, when you put it like that it sounds just like your kind of book."

"Go figure," mocked the empath, gently shoving the changeling's shoulder and smiling. "Perhaps you don't know me quite as well as you think you do."

He returned her smile and, shaking his head, gently wrapped his arms around her in a friendly embrace. Raven froze as he spoke softly to her.

"I know you're about to tell me you're going to head off to your room, because you've had your fill of people for one day and let's face it there is no way you're about to head back in there after what happened," began Beast Boy, releasing her from his tight grasp but staying close. "You're about to ask me if I'm offended by your departure. No, I'm not so don't worry. You go meditate or whatever you need and thanks for an epic day."

Raven stared at him, her eyes wide and her mouth open. It was her turn to be surprised; not only by the audacity of the young man but the way in which he'd read her as though she was one of the many books on the shelf. She swallowed, his proximity registering in her mind. Raven's eyes flickered to his lips then back up to his face. She felt her heart rate increasing, the warmth pooling in her stomach. This was starting to get dangerous.

"Beast Boy, I..." she began, but trailed off as she looked into his eyes and saw that his expression had changed. It looked more serious all of a sudden; a primal spark igniting within his emerald orbs. She shuddered in excitement and fear as she noticed what was happening between them. It was like magnetic pull; she felt unable to stop it even if she wanted to.

"W-what's happening," she whispered hoarsely; a statement more than a question. His lips grazed hers and sent electrical sparks throughout her body. She felt as though she was igniting, nerve endings exploding with excitement and joy. Her face was blushing, her eyes were half lidded. She felt as though she was the one who was drunk, despite alcohol having never passed her lips. The intenseness of his gaze was intriguing and terrifying her in equal measure. His nose brushed against hers, as light as a butterfly landing and she quivered beneath his touch.

"I don't know," he admitted eventually, resting his forehead against hers. His eyes fluttered closed and Raven desperately tried to contain her soul self from scratching its way to the surface. They stayed in the intimacy of the embrace for a number of seconds but to the empath it felt like a lifetime of being locked against him, feeling wave after wave of unknown emotions crashing over her.

Raven didn't know what to do. Half of her wanted to run and scream and shout in terror at what was occurring. Half of her was swirling in the heavens doing loops and somersaults at the idea of being this close him after all those months of keeping away. Her logical brain knew that they were friends and teammates, and she had never explored the idea of there being something more.

_'But what if...'_

No. She couldn't allow it to happen. Feelings were _still_ dangerous. Look at what had just happened in ops. Look at how she barely held on to control. What would have happened in the room if she had erupted and lost herself? Would the Titans be in the medbay right now? The thought didn't bear entertaining. It would compromise the whole team. It would compromise the whole _city_.

But she could feel the changeling's breath on her lips. He was so close; so close she could just reach up and press herself into him. Neither of them wanted to make a move, it was as though they were frozen in time. They both knew that sooner or later this stalemate would end, but neither wanted to chance the outcome. Suddenly, there was a beep on the keypad of the ops door, and reflexively Beast Boy released her from his grasp. Raven scrambled backwards a little to make some space between them. The air felt thick, and she was suffocating in it.

"B man, there you are!" exclaimed Cyborg, walking over to them both. Seeing the empath's flushed face, he gave her a strange look. "Hey, you okay little lady?"

"Yes, just too many people in there," managed Raven, her cheeks still hot. Her face remained impassive as she pulled her hood up around her. "I should go and meditate."

She pushed herself to her feet and turned towards the other two Titans. Her eyes locked onto Beast Boy's for a moment. He was looking at her with a mixture of concern and confusion about what had just taken place. She could feel the mixed emotions hitting her in waves and it terrified her.

"Happy birthday, Beast Boy. Enjoy the rest of your evening," she mumbled, before nodding towards Cyborg and making her way down the decorated corridor towards the elevator. Cyborg quirked his eyebrow at her, concern lining his own face.

"Man, she is all _kinds_ of weird at the moment," he said, shaking his head in despair. "I'm gonna need to have a talk to her tomorrow."

"I think this is something she needs to figure out on her own," said Garfield, pushing himself to his feet to stand next to Cyborg. He seemed unusually serious. "She'll talk when she's ready."

"Hmm. Anyway, green bean, let the games begin! The band are packing up, so you know what that means?"

"HELL YES! Super Robot Fighting 8 time!?"

"You know it buddy!" exclaimed the cybernetic teen, clapping his teammate on the back. Beast Boy made a dart for ops without another word, a smile plastered across his face. Cy watched him go, then turned his attention towards where the empath had vanished. His eyes narrowed and he let out a deep sigh. Concern lining his face once more, he pushed it away. He entered the room behind his best friend, trying to find his party spirit once more.

* * *

**Thank you so much for all your kind follows and for those that are reading this story. If you could take the time to leave me a quick review I would be so very grateful. **

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	4. Chapter 4 - A Little Bit Dangerous

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe. Review replies at the end, please read and review!**

* * *

**_Chapter four – 'A little bit dangerous'_**

_Six months later_

Neither the changeling nor the empath had broached the subject of what happened that night. Months had passed, and to the outside eye things were normal in the Tower. Cyborg and Beast Boy still rowed every day about meat, Robin and Starfire went on their dates, Starfire and Beast Boy played with Silkie, Cyborg and Raven worked on the T-Car, Robin and Raven trained together, the three boys played on GameStation and Raven and Starfire visited the 'mall of shopping'. But, upon closer inspection, it was noticeable that there was little interaction between Raven and Beast Boy. The two would spend time with the rest of the group but never alone. On the few occasions which they were left alone in a room together, there would be an awkward silence before one or the other would remove themselves from the situation. If any of the other Titans had noticed this, none passed comment. So it progressed, until six months had rolled by.

It was a cold wintery day; frost was creeping up the large windows of the Tower and the skies above Jump City were grey and tempestuous. Beast Boy and Cyborg were playing GameStation together when the alarm went off loudly.

"Dude, I was _just _about to beat your high score!" complained Beast Boy, throwing the controller down in frustration.

"Keep dreaming, green bean!" laughed Cyborg, placing his own controller gently on the coffee table and standing from the couch as the other three Titans entered the room with urgency. The red flashing light ceased as the screen changed to show a familiar figure they knew well.

Robin narrowed his eyes beneath his mask. "Red X."

The notorious villain was in the midst of attempting to burgle one of the many banks in Jump City. The cashiers and security guards were hanging upside down from the ceiling, attached by x-shaped red goo. The back door was blown off its hinges, clearly through the use of a bomb of some kind. Robin wasted no time in getting his team into gear; it wouldn't be long before Red X had made short work of the other reinforced doors in the same manner. Then he would be long gone with the loot in tow.

"Beast Boy, Starfire, Raven. Get yourselves down to the bank now by air. Cyborg and I will follow by road and cut him off at the back of the building. You enter through the front, rescue the civilians and then cut off his escape routes. Got that?"

Everyone nodded, ready to depart. The leader returned their nod before uttering his famous phrase. "Titans, GO!"

* * *

Downtown, the three airborne Titans landed deftly outside of the bank's front doors. They dashed inside; Starfire had a few bolts readied in case they were victims of a subterfuge of some kind. Raven closed her eyes and focused.

"No traps," she confirmed to the other two. "We are safe to proceed. I will release the victims, you both search for Red X and I will join shortly."

The other two Titans nodded and dashed further into the recesses of the building. Raven worked quickly, phasing the civilians from their sticky encasement. As the last lady was gently lowered to the ground, she spoke to the group. "Get outside and call the emergency services for those who are injured. But be sure to move as far away from the building as you can. Red X uses bombs and explosives which may cause further damage if you are within the blast radius. Now, go."

"Thank you, Raven!" shouted someone from the group, and the others all muttered in approval and gratitude. She nodded and then gave them all a firm look.

"No time for that now. Get to safety," she barked threateningly, concerned for their wellbeing. The group began to filter from the building and make its way towards the end of the street. Satisfied everyone was safe, the empath reached out to her friends' location and she shifted through the floor. As she appeared at Starfire's side, the Tameranean gave a little shriek of surprise. Raven shushed her, looking around to see if she could locate their foe. He was nowhere to be seen. The empath glanced at the Tameranean who shook her head. Raven pulled her communicator out, whispering urgently into the device.

"Robin, civs are safe but we don't see X."

The communicator crackled into life, the sound of the boy wonder's voice coming over the airwaves. _"Nothing around the back either. It's like he's vanished."_

Raven looked at Starfire and they both shrugged. "What now?"

_"You stay at your location as planned, block the front of the building. Cyborg and I will infiltrate the back and flush him out. He has to be in there somewhere."_

"Got it," said Raven, placing her communicator back into her pocket and looking around the room slowly. There were several doors branching off from their current location, but this felt like the hub where they all connected. Robin was right; if they flushed Red X out, he would undoubtedly come through these doors in some manner or another. Raven was hit by a sudden realisation and turned towards the princess swiftly.

"Where's Beast Boy?"

Starfire pointed to the far-left door. "Friend Beast Boy said he heard footsteps down there and went to check it out."

"And you let him go alone?!"

"Friend, I needed to stay here to protect the civilians from Red X whilst you were getting them to safety. It is not possible for me to be in two places at once," replied Star, firmly. Raven bit her lip, feeling guilty for her slight outburst. Her emotions were still unstable when she thought about the young green man. It had worsened tenfold since their encounter six months ago, and she had to battle to keep herself under control every single day.

"Sorry, Star. I'm just concerned as to why he hasn't come back. You know what Red X is like, each of us on our own are vulnerable to one of his tricks or devices. I just wouldn't want any of you getting hurt."

"Of course," smiled Star, her icy tone melting away as though it had never been there. "But we must hold our position presently. Friend Beast Boy is tougher than we comprehend. I am certain he will be the okay."

Raven nodded, walking back towards the main entrance. "Stay here, I'll go back to the front doors and check Red X hasn't snuck back through the vents or something."

"Affirmative," nodded Starfire, brightly. "I shall hold position."

Raven walked briskly through the doors and into the main hallway. The doors to the building were wide open, and the wintry breeze blew her cloak back. She felt the cold air nipping at her legs and shivered. Closing her eyes, she reached out again. Nothing.

Even for Red X this was odd. Her communicator was silent, indicating that none of the other Titans had found him either. The empath narrowed her violet eyes, her ear twitching as she saw a door at the far end of the room begin to open. Her eyes swiftly turned white as she chanted her mantra.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinth—"

"Hey, don't shoot, it's me!" said Beast Boy, appearing out of the doorway cautiously.

Raven's eyes immediately reverted to normal and she walked towards him. "Star said you went on ahead. How did you end up back here?"

"Beats me. This place is like a freaking _maze_," frowned the changeling, closing the door behind him. "I was following Red X's scent, but it was leading me around and around in circles. I think he must have planted something to replicate the trail and throw me off."

"It wouldn't surprise me," Raven replied, shrugging. "No sign of him here, Starfire is watching the other doors, but nothing. Robin and Cyborg can't find him at the back either. It's a mystery."

Another gust of cold wind blew through the doors, as snow began to plume into the room. Raven turned her eyes towards the doors and sighed. "And now it's snowing. Great. That will help with visibility."

"No doubt," laughed Beast Boy, walking towards the doors and shifting into a gorilla. He forced them closed and pulled a large cupboard from the side to block them from blowing open again. Shifting back, he turned to Raven. "At least this way he can't sneak out, and the snow can't sneak in."

Raven nodded approvingly, turning back towards Starfire's location. Suddenly, the recognition that this was the most time they'd spent alone together in months hit her, and she froze on the spot. There was a strange yearning inside of her; a scrabbling feeling in her gut that told her to reach out to him. She closed her eyes and took a breath before resolutely burying it. "We should get back to Star's location."

Beast Boy was silent, and she turned her eyes towards his emerald ones. There was a deep sadness within them, and she knew his thoughts were matching her own. Memories from that night flicking simultaneously in their minds eye. But she couldn't handle his emotions on top of her own, so she blocked them out. Turning towards the hub, Raven began to stride towards the internal door. A blast of smoke blew her backwards, and she felt herself tumbling. Reaching down to the floor, she managed to steady herself and looked up with anxious eyes. Starfire was airborne in the cramped space, trying to get some distance between herself and what the empath presumed to be Red X. The Tameranean saw Raven and shouted to her loudly.

"He is using some kind of cloaking device!" Star yelled, dust entering her lungs and causing her to cough. She rained down starbolts furiously onto the ground as Red X's suit began to hiss and splutter, and he flickered into visibility. The villain irately punched the button on his chest over and over, but to no avail. The cloaking device was smoking, broken beyond repair. He knew there was only one option now; escape. Desperately, he kicked a door down to slip through but was blocked by the tall figure of the Tameranean. She floated before him, red hair flying about her like a fiery mane. Her eyes glowed green and she stared at him menacingly.

"_You_ are under arrest, Red X for your crimes of theft. Please hand yourself in to the authorities and there will be no further need for violence," she said, evenly. Red X snorted beneath his mask and tilted his head.

"Oh, cutie, what a shame. I like a woman who isn't afraid of a little _violence,_" he sneered, reaching down to his belt and deftly sticking a device to the princess's chest. She gasped as it shot her backwards into the wall of the adjoining room with force, blowing a hole through into the space behind.

"Starfire!" yelled Beast Boy, a concerned tone in his voice. Giving Raven a determined look, he shifted into a sasquatch and attempted to grab hold of the villain. Raven's eyes glowed their familiar white as she chanted loudly. "Azarath, Metrion, _Zinthos!"_

The debris that was covering the Tameranean's body lifted into the air and deposited itself across from her. Raven shot over in an instant, pulling her friend to her feet. The device on Starfire's torso was smouldering and crackling with energy, and the Azarathian grasped hold of her arm to steady her. "Are you okay? If you're hurt, I can help."

"I am the okay," confirmed Star, rubbing her sore head. Her eyes glowed a determined green as she ripped the device from herself and crumbled it between her slender fingers. "But Red X will not be once I am finished with him."

Raven couldn't help but give a small smirk at her friend's sentiments. She knew Starfire meant it. Righteous fury from a Tameranean was not something to be toyed with and it was _always_ to be taken literally. Raven pushed her friend upright so she could stand unsupported and gestured towards the villain, who was presently wrestling with a green snake. "Be my guest."

Starfire let out an almighty warrior's cry as she shot from her position, blowing Raven's hair and cloak backwards in her wake. Raven looked towards the battle scene and grabbed her communicator once more.

"Robin, Red X is engaging us. Please converge on our location."

A crackle and whir. _"Got it, Raven. We're coming."_

No sooner had the voice spoken, but a cannon blast exploded the nearby wall causing the empath to shield her face with her arms. Robin and Cyborg burst through, landing next to Raven with a thud.

"This the party?" asked Cyborg, a silly grin on his face. Raven gave him a glare and pointed to the pile of rubble that once held the angered Tameranean.

"Yes, and you're late."

Robin looked at the pile. "What happ-"

"Red X blasted Starfire."

"Is she okay?" asked Robin, his usually calm voice laced with distress. Raven pointed at the battle scene, an impassive look on her face. Starfire was squealing with anger and launching starbolt after starbolt at the villain. Her hair was frazzled, and she had a dirty face from her collision. Yet, her anger and determination were so evident they were practically radiating across the room.

"Looks pretty okay to me," replied Raven, sardonically. "So, what's the plan?"

"Block all the exits. We'll handle X," said Robin, unfurling his staff and launching in the direction of the fight. Cyborg nodded, shifting his arm to a cannon and running after their leader. Raven focused, eyes glowing white once more. The exits became sealed with her dark energy, and she floated up into the air so that she could concentrate away from the battle. The emotions of the others had a tendency to throw her off balance, and she didn't trust herself not to get distracted in her present state.

Red X had finally managed to unfurl the green snake from his torso. Gripping it around the neck, he laughed and grabbed another gadget from his arsenal. "I've got a special one for you, Beastie."

He clipped it to the snake, and it shot him backwards against the wall. Raven managed to hold in a gasp and keep her energy strong, despite the pang of fear which hit her chest. Beast Boy shifted to his human form, desperately trying to wriggle free from the device's grasp. As he collided with the wall the contraption exploded into a large crimson X, which pinned him against the wall and rendered him helpless. He tried to change forms but was unable to. "Dude, what the heck! I can't shift!"

Raven let out a breath of relief as she realised Beast Boy was okay, but quite clearly stuck to the wall and powerless to escape.

"It must be blocking your powers!" shouted Robin, as he tried to land some punches on the rogue fighter. Cyborg blasted his cannon, narrowly missing Red X by centimetres.

"Hang tight, little buddy!" laughed the cybernetic teen, blasting hard as the young villain did acrobatics to escape. Starfire was still peppering him with blasts of green light, but he was evading them with ease. Red X landed on the ground, once again looking around for his exits. He noticed they were all blocked by Raven's dark energy and that the empath was too high in the air to do a great deal about. Especially with the others bearing down on him. He chuckled, in spite of his odds.

"Guess I'll have to make my own exit then," he said beneath his breath, throwing another detonation device onto the wall. It stuck to the surface then exploded, the blast sending the other three Titans flying backwards onto the floor. Snow began to pour into the room from the gaping hole that was left by the explosion. Red X waved goadingly at them, tilting his head. "See you later Titans. Thanks for the little distraction. It was fun."

He departed through the gap and began to run down the road. Robin was on his feet a moment later and turned towards Raven, who had lowered herself to the ground and was helping Cyborg to his feet.

"Raven, stay here and get Beast Boy out of that thing. Radio us when you're done, and we'll regroup. Star, Cy – let's go! We have unfinished business with our _friend_."

Starfire grabbed Cyborg in her arms and flew out of the opening, with Robin hot on their heels. There was a whistling as the wind and snow obscured Raven's view of them. As they vanished into the distance, her heart started to pound. The room seemed to fall quiet and she turned to face him. The changeling gave her a goofy grin. "Hey, Raven."

"Hello, Beast Boy," she groaned, rubbing her temples and looking at him. "Quite a pickle you find yourself in."

"Good of you to notice," he quipped, waving his hand at her. "A little help?"

"Yes, hang on a moment. I need to block that gap. The cold air and rising snow are making it somewhat difficult to concentrate."

The empath's eyes glowed white as she levitated a piece of the debris to cover the gap. The whistling ceased, and the snow that was on the ground began to melt. Sighing in relief, she pulled her hood down and approached the green shapeshifter's position. Her eyes were inquisitive as she assessed what had happened to him. "It seems like some kind of chemical compound that has magical properties. I've never seen anything like it before. Where would Red X get hold of something like this?"

"I don't know, maybe the villain's supermarket?" snarled Garfield, haughtily. "Who cares, Rae! I'm stuck to a wall! Get me down already."

Raven gave a little snort, a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. "You really hate being trapped, don't you?"

"Duh," replied Beast Boy, rolling his eyes. Despite the predicament, he wriggled desperately to try and get out any way that he could. He was part animal after all. Being stuck in a trap like this gave him a fear unlike any other. Raven could feel his panic pinching her and tried to soften her eyes a little.

"There's no need to panic, I've already thought of a few things we can try to get you unstuck. But you will need to be patient. This won't work if you are squirming around like that."

"Fine," sighed the changeling, his shoulders slumping in defeat. His feet dangled a few feet from the ground, his arms stuck in an upwards position by the x-shaped glue. Raven walked around him and then looked up towards him.

"The first thing we can try is apparating you out of it," she said softly. "But the glue may come with you. If that is the case, then I will attempt an incantation to try and break the spell that's binding you and then apparate you after that."

"And what's plan C?"

Raven shrugged, giving him a wry smile. "You get used to living like a spider?"

"Ha _freaking_ ha," grimaced Beast Boy, clearly not amused. Raven's eyes twinkled again, as she levitated herself to eye level with him and began to observe the sticking points on the wall closely. She didn't want to attempt to apparate him if it would prove useless; it would only drain her power and cause him further pain. Beast Boy studied her face as she worked.

"Hey, Raven?"

She tilted her gaze to look into his eyes. It was rare that she looked at them this closely. There were flecks of blue amongst the emerald, she noticed. They must have been the original colours of his irises before he turned green. A light dusting of freckles was also visible across his nose and cheeks. She blinked and cocked her head, feeling that now all too familiar warmth spreading across her chest.

"Yes?"

"Do you think," began Garfield, slowly. He looked as though he was wrestling with something internally. He bit his lip, fang digging into the flesh as he did so. Raven waited, looking at him expectantly. It wasn't until she began to feel faint that she noticed she was holding her breath. He sighed deeply and tried again. "Do you think _maybe_ we should talk about what happened on my birthday?"

Raven stared at him. After all these months, he was clearly just as confused by the moment as she was. The empath swallowed, her mouth feeling suddenly dry. Panic was rising within her, and she heard some of the debris rumbling beneath them. Beast Boy clearly also noticed, as he spoke again in a hurried way.

"We don't have to if you don't want to it's just that, um," he began, before trailing off and closing his eyes. Garfield banged his head backwards against the wall, as though trying to figure out the right words to say. "Things haven't been the same since."

He opened up his eyes and looked at her carefully. There was an earnest look on his face, yet his eyes betrayed something deeper within him. Raven didn't know what it was. All she knew was that she felt paralysed. He whispered; voice barely audible in the large room. "And I miss you."

"I—" began the empath, feeling that strange magnetic pull that had attracted her all those months ago. She could feel herself leaning closer, his breath beginning to tickle her mouth. She pulled herself back with some effort. "I don't know what to say."

"Tell me what it meant," asked Beast Boy, his eyes looking at her pleadingly. Her violet orbs shifted to the floor, a sudden shame engulfing her. She didn't want him to find out about these feelings. She didn't feel able to explain them, even to herself. It was just a crush, a physical attraction. Nothing more. There was no need to act on it. It would be dangerous to do so.

And yet...

There was something happening between them. It was undeniable. Beast Boy was no longer the gawky, goofy teen that she met a few years ago. He was changing, and so was she. Raven didn't know what she wanted, but she had a feeling that neither did he. She stumbled over her words.

"It was a s-strange m-moment," Raven managed, her eyes never leaving the floor. She was concentrating with all her might not to give in to the emotions which rose in her, bubbling to the surface like hot lava. Fighting not to reach up and touch her lips to his like every ounce of her body wanted her to. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that things were not that simple. "Perhaps it is best left alone."

"So, I lose one of my best friends because of a _strange moment_?" replied the changeling, a firmness to his tone which made Raven's eyes shoot back up to meet his. There was a fierceness there that she both feared and admired equally. She'd never realised that he thought of her highly, valuing her as one of his best friends. The thought made her heart soar.

_'But just a friend?'_ came a small voice from within her. She sighed deeply, feeling unsure what else to do. As always with Raven, her logical mind took over and she formulated a brief answer. "I need to apparate you out so we can go and help the others."

Beast Boy's jaw tightened, and she could see him giving up, knowing he was getting nowhere with her. He shrugged and looked down, defeatedly. "Do what you gotta do."

Raven noted the cold tone to his voice and shuddered. She hated pushing him away like this. It felt so wrong.

But they were friends. _Good _friends at that. This would only complicate things. Once she had worked through her feelings then they could get back to normal. Being best friends, as he had so aptly put it. She tugged gently at the goo, noticing that the restraints weren't a tight as she first thought.

_'Of course, it was a temporary deterrent. Red X knew it wouldn't be permanent. He's not that well prepared.'_

Raven gently touched a hand on each of Beast Boy's shoulders. He looked back up towards her, and she felt the electricity running through her again as their eyes met. She swallowed, remembering the fateful moment when she had healed him all those years ago. "Take a deep breath."

His eyes gazed at her unfalteringly, as though they were looking into her very soul. Raven could feel fear rising up, but she pushed it away.

_'Focus on the mission. Get Beast Boy out, get back to the others.'_

With a blast of black aura, the two Titans were enveloped in darkness before reappearing less than a second later on the ground. It took Raven a moment to realise that they had landed, as she felt slightly lightheaded. She was aware that his arms were now free, and she glanced up at the wall. The x-shaped glue still hung there limply and was beginning to dissolve. Mission accomplished.

Glancing back at Beast Boy, Raven noticed that he was still intently staring at her. Her arms were resting on his shoulders, absently. She had neglected to move them following the teleportation.

_'When did he get so tall?'_

She licked her lips anxiously, their close proximity making heat pool in the base of her stomach once more. Words were gone. The intensity of his gaze was making her feel incapacitated. The changeling stretched out gently, wrapping his arms around her lower back and pulling her even closer. He tilted his head down and rested his forehead against hers, eyes flickering closed. Raven stood still as a statue, allowing him to move freely; fearful that the spell would break if she attempted movement of any kind. Her heart was pounding so hard she feared it may burst from her chest. Each breath made her shudder and shake inside. Yet nothing was breaking. There was no explosion of power. No instability. The empath couldn't understand it; she was certain that an expression of intimacy such as this would have sent her catapulting into a full-blown catastrophic paroxysm of emotion, and her that sanity would be crumbled away.

But here she rested in the changeling's arms, feeling warm and safe and supported. His head raised, eyes opening again. His nose gently brushed against hers, lips lightly touching her own. Just like they did all those months ago. The touch ignited her once more, and she let herself give in to the moment. Her arms gently moved up his shoulders and rested behind his head. Beast Boy leant forward and pressed his lips to hers gently.

The feeling was indescribable. Raven felt herself fall into ecstasy. Her emotions were firing off so quickly she was unable to discern which was which. Excitement, happiness, pleasure, lust, desire. Each bubbled to the surface as the two Titans deepened their kiss. The empath allowed herself to sink into him; pressing her body closer, pulling his head towards her. He responded with interest; his arms lifting her from the ground slightly, his hands in her lilac hair. They broke apart, breathing heavily. The instant it was over Raven looked up at him in fear. She couldn't quite believe what had just happened between them. Yet there was one thought that was floating into her mind over and over.

_'More. I want more.'_

She touched her fingers to her lips. They were full, and slightly numb from the lustful encounter. "B-beast Boy, I—"

"Don't," he breathed, silencing her with a single word. He stared down at her; she could tell he was trying to regain some semblance of control. He pulled her into a tight but friendly embrace, her head resting into his firm shoulder. "Later."

"Okay," she mumbled, noticing how warm he was. How he smelled so _good _up close. How she never wanted to break apart from him. They had crossed a line, and they both knew it. Raven wondered if things would ever be the same again.

"We need to find the others," said the changeling, releasing her and looking serious. His fear hit Raven in the chest, and she crumpled under its weight. "Just...don't run away from me, okay?"

"Okay," repeated Raven, still feeling dumbstruck. It was as though part of her had been sucked out by that kiss and now belonged to him. How would she ever fight Red X in this state?

Beast Boy whipped the communicator out deftly and spoke with confidence. "Robin, Raven got me free. Where are you guys?"

_"Don't panic, Beast Boy. We got him. We're at the Wayne Enterprises Building at the end of the street. Head down to us now, so we can get this wrapped up."_

Beast Boy looked at Raven uncertainly, but she nodded. "We're on our way."

* * *

**Replies:**

**Golem**** XIV: Thanks so much for your review (as always)! If the almost kiss sent her into a loop, what do we think this one may do? ;) I hope you continue to enjoy the story and thanks so much again.**

**TheAlienHeart: I agree entirely! Some people milk it for too long. Not me, I'm impatient (as you can probably tell from this chapter). But the story isn't over yet (that would be too easy!) I hope you enjoyed this chapter too, and thanks for the kind reviews :)**

**Guest: Thank you so much, hope you also enjoyed this chapter :)**


	5. Chapter 5 - A Little Bit Scandalous

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe. Please read and review!**

**Brief warning: This chapter includes M rated material and adult themes (although not explicit, they are there!). You have been warned.**

* * *

**_Chapter five – 'A little bit scandalous'_**

_Two weeks later_

Raven sat quietly in ops, curled up in her favourite seat with her book and mug of tea. The warm fumes swirled upwards, tantalising her nose with the flavour that was to come. Tea. Was there any greater pleasure in life?

_'Well, there is...'_

Raven gave her emoticlones an inward glare. _'Don't finish that sentence, whoever said that.'_

Silence. Raven smirked and continued to eagerly read the pages of her novel. The doors to ops swished open and in walked Starfire. She looked incredible. Her hair was curled and pinned to the side, and she sported a long lilac dress which was split up to her hip. Sparkling heels enhanced her already towering height. Raven's violet eyes peered curiously at her over the top of her book.

"Going somewhere nice?"

"Oh yes, friend!" exclaimed Starfire, showing that whilst her outer shell might have changed, she was very much the same as ever. "Robin is taking me somewhere romantic and I am _most_ excited."

"Not as excited as he's going to be," mumbled Raven, her eyes returning to the pages. Starfire gave a light laugh at her friend's joke and sat herself down at the counter slowly. Beast Boy and Cyborg entered ops, shoving one another childishly.

"Dude, you are totally going to get it now – just wait until we get online," growled Beast Boy, provocatively. "I'm going to whoop you so badly you'll be embarrassed to play ever again."

"Tough talk, little man," chortled Cy, poking a finger into his friend's shoulder. "Time to put some money where your mouth is. How about sixty bu—"

The two of them stopped dead, mouths dropping open as they noticed the Tameranean beauty sitting before them. Starfire giggled demurely, waggling her fingers at the two awestruck Titans.

"Good evening, friends."

"Damn girl, you clean up _good_."

"Yeah. You are _way_ too good for Robin," added Beast Boy, quirking his eyebrow. He grinned sheepishly upon seeing Starfire's changing expression. "Just sayin'."

"Well _don't_ say," grumbled the empath, from the recesses of the room. "You might as well put your foot in your mouth now and save us all the trouble of doing it later."

"Aww, don't be jealous, Raven," mocked Beast Boy with a wink, earning him a signature glare as the other two Titans laughed behind their hands. Beast Boy smirked then turned back to his metallic companion. "So, are we doing this or what?"

"Let's go, green bean!"

They raced to the console and began to chat noisily. Raven rolled her eyes at their antics and buried herself deeper into her book. The door to ops swished again, revealing their leader out of uniform for once. The empath's eyes left the pages once more as she saw his fitted suit and dark sunglasses. Starfire lit up like a firework at the sight of him, and she shot from her chair to greet him. She pecked him on the cheek and grinned proudly as she floated beside him.

"You look wonderous," she admitted, batting her long eyelashes at him. Robin looked shell-shocked by the young woman's attire. Words had failed him; his brain was clearly crashing. As he stared at her wordlessly, Raven sent a zap of dark energy towards his behind. The feeling shocked him back into action, and she smirked once more.

_'Come on, Boy Blunder. Don't ruin it.'_

"You look _amazing_, Starfire. Just...wow," breathed the young man, trying to regain his composure. He shot a look towards the empath, who shrugged and mouthed _'You're welcome.' _Sparing her another quick glare with a smile this time, he observed the beauty before him. "So, are you ready to go?"

"Indeed!"

"Don't wait up," Robin shouted over his shoulder, as the two departed the room arm in arm. The door swished shut behind them, the delicate scent of Starfire's perfume lingering in their wake. Beast Boy and Cyborg continued to play as though the whole scene hadn't unfolded in their presence. The clocked ticked by an hour or two. Raven's eyes raised from her book. Had it really been _that _long? She stretched, sipping the final dregs from her now cold tea and headed to the kettle.

"Hey, what time is it Rave?" asked Cyborg, eyes still firmly on the screen.

"Quarter to eight. Why?"

"Oh, no reason. I just gotta catch up with someone tonight and I don't wanna be late."

"Someone?" asked Beast Boy, fingers flying across buttons as their characters fought on the screen. "As in a girl someone or a boy someone?"

"Well...it's a _girl_ someone, if you must know."

"Oh, really?" asked Raven curiously, sauntering back with a refreshed mug of tea. "Anyone we know?"

"No," replied Cyborg, his face burning hotly. He evaded eye contact with the Azarathian as he stood up from his seat. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm goin' to head off for my date."

"So, it _is _a date?" asked Beast Boy, cheekily. He had put his own controller down and turned to grin at the cybernetic man's discomfort. Cyborg turned around mid-stride, face aghast at what he had just said.

"Wha—I didn't say date...I said, uh, I said..."

"You definitely said date," confirmed Raven, smirking as she picked her book up again. Cyborg gave her a look.

"Don't take _his _side!"

Beast Boy burst into fits of laughter, running over and clapping the tin man on the shoulder. "Chill, dude. Just yankin' your cybernetic chain. Go and have a good time with your girl."

Cyborg eyed the green shapeshifter warily. "Can I trust you two to behave whilst I'm gone?"

"You do realise you're my teammate not my babysitter?" growled Raven, her eyes glowing momentarily red. The crimson light vanished as an amusing thought crept into her head. "Beast Boy on the other hand..."

"Hey!" shouted the changeling indignantly. "I'm an adult, thank you very much."

"That's debatable," grumbled Cyborg, his red face gradually returning to its normal colour as a grin appeared.

"Don't take _her_ side!"

"Look, I got the question wrong," laughed Cy, holding his angered friend at arm's length. "What I meant to say was, Raven can I trust you not to murder Beast Boy before I get back?"

"No promises," replied the empath disappearing behind the pages of her book again, but her eyes twinkled with mirth. The changeling sloped back towards the sofa, glaring furiously at the pair. Cyborg ruffled Beast Boy's hair playfully as he walked away, and then made his way out of ops.

"See you guys later," he chortled, walking towards the metal doors.

"Have fun," called Raven, as he left the room. Beast Boy leant over the back of the couch and shouted after him.

"Yeah, don't get hit by a truck or anything!"

"I heard that!" came the cybernetic man's voice from the corridor. Beast Boy broke into laughter, before picking up his controller and resuming his game once more. A few minutes later, the T-Car's engine roared on the beach and shot off in the direction of downtown Jump City. As the noisy revving engine became a quiet whisper in the background, Raven's book fell to the floor.

She and the changeling were already in a passionate embrace, their mouths clashing together as though they hadn't seen each other in months. In honesty, it felt that way. The whole thing felt scandalous, and they didn't want to risk the rest of the team knowing what was happening between them. Raven wasn't sure she even knew herself. The conversation after their first encounter had been uncomfortable, and resulted in a situation much like the one she currently found herself in. They hadn't bothered with words after that. Each time the two of them were alone, they were drawn together like electromagnets. Raven was ashamed to admit it, but she liked it.

Forget that, she craved it. There was something about being intimate with the changeling that made her feel so...whole. Since their trysts had begun, her emoticlones had settled down. It was as though they were satisfied with the new situation, and the relief she felt from it was incredible. It was like itching a scratch that has been bothering her forever. But the more she itched it, the worse it got. Simply exchanging an illicit kiss wasn't enough anymore. Each time their 'sessions' were getting more and more out of control. At this rate it could end up being—

Unable to continue her train of thought, Raven's mind snapped into the present as she felt Beast Boy unclipping her cloak and throwing it to one side. Flicking her hair, she launched herself back at him. He toppled backwards and she landed on top of him, panting heavily. His eyes looked up at her, hungry and excited.

"Raven, what are you—"

The empath brought her mouth back down to his roughly, hands gripping his green hair. "Shh. Don't talk."

"But don't you think," began the changeling, as she peppered kisses up his neck and along his jawline. His voice was raspy and came out in gasps. "That this is getting a little bit out of hand..."

Raven paused, the reality of his words hitting her. Her previous train of thought resumed in an instant. He was right. The more boundaries they crossed, the more out of control it was all getting. And there were fewer and fewer boundaries left between them. She looked at the young man, her violet eyes suddenly filled with shame.

_'What are we doing?'_

"I...I'm sorry, we can stop if you want to," she mumbled feebly, going to move away from him. Beast Boy gripped her arms, preventing her from moving and she looked at him shyly. He shook his head.

"I don't, that's the problem," he smiled, reaching up and brushing her hair out of her eyes tenderly. "I just want you to be sure that it's what you want. Is this what you want?"

Biting her lip, Raven looked over at her discarded cloak and considered his words for a moment. Was this what she wanted? Every ounce of her being was screaming affirmations. But her practical mind was split. They hadn't even spoken at length about what all of this meant; would crossing the final line be a step too far? Emotions would become more complex. Their relationship would be forever changed.

Garfield ran his hands up her back gently, as she considered her options. She closed her eyes at his touch. It felt so warm, so natural. She had allowed herself to go with her instincts for once, and it felt _good_. More than that, the empath felt liberated in a way that she never had before. When she and Beast Boy were intimate, she didn't seem to have to worry about her emotions. Things didn't blow up, things felt stable. It was the closest to freedom from emotional worry she had experienced in her entire life. Did she really want to put a stop to that? Her eyes snapped open. She'd made her decision.

_'Screw it.'_

Raven turned towards him, her eyes betraying her reaction to his question. She reached down, gently placing her lips onto his. She pulled back a little to speak, her voice humming against his mouth.

"Yes."

* * *

_One month later_

It was midnight when Raven dragged Beast Boy into her room from the gloomy corridor with an excited giggle. The Tower was in darkness, everyone else's emotions indicating they were soundly asleep and at peace. As the door slid shut, Raven looked up into his green eyes and gave a seductive smile. They were pressed together in a matter of moments, fervently making up for lost time. Raven gently jumped, wrapping her legs around his torso as he guided her towards her bed.

The lines had been well and truly crossed. Many times.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep their trysts a secret, with all of the Titans watching their every move. Raven had tried her best to keep up the charade of being sarcastic towards him and made several jokes a day at his expense. Beast Boy continued to act the part of the goofball, still pestering her as he always had done since they were young. But there were now underlying moments that others didn't see.

Sneaking kisses in the kitchen; breaking apart seconds before one of the other Titans entered and trying to act normally. Garfield gently brushing his fingers up her thigh under the table when they were all sitting down to a meal. Raven, reaching across him to grab the salt at the exact right angle so that her breasts brushed across his body. The smouldering glances they shared when no one else was paying attention.

And that was just this evening.

Things were beginning to get more dangerous. Following battles, they would sneak off for a brief make out session knowing full well that the media was nearby, and that they could be discovered at any moment. It was perhaps indecent. Yet the empath enjoyed it. There was something about the secrecy of their encounters that made it all the more exciting. Part of her still felt that what they were doing was _wrong_ in some way. But the more she lingered on that thought, the more that she wanted to be close to the changeling. It was paradoxical.

As the moon rose, they would steal across the darkened corridors like thieves in the night to find each other's embrace. They would spend the evenings together, wrapped up in one another; experiencing every part of their bodies that they could. Lust, desire and delight would emanate from the room until the early hours of the morning came. Then they would sneak back to their own beds, feeling warm and satisfied. This night proved to be no different.

As they collapsed on Raven's bed, she felt the cool air flowing over her naked body and took some deep, centring breaths. She reached over to her nightstand and took a gulp of some ice water that she had left there. As she rolled back, she found emerald eyes watching her movements with amusement. She felt a blush creeping up her face as she gave a small smile.

"Hello," she whispered, twisting onto her side and lying lazily on the dark sheet. Beast Boy grinned at her.

"Hi," he replied, reaching a hand out to gently caress down her long, pale arm. The warmth of the touch made her break out in goosebumps, and the changeling noticed the reaction. "Cold?"

"A little," admitted the empath, moving her hair out of her eyes, gently. The changeling reached out and pulled the discarded duvet over them both in a swift movement. As the warmth hit her, Raven felt herself relax slightly and noticed how exhausted she actually was. Yawning, she snuggled into her comforter contentedly.

"Tired?" asked Beast Boy, inquisitively. His eyes were still inspecting her, she noticed. It was always the same after they had been intimate, he would watch her every movement like she was a delicate flower. She wasn't certain why, but she enjoyed the attention. Shrugging, she snuggled down further.

"Yes, aren't you?"

"I am," he admitted, running a hand through his dark green hair and allowing a small yawn past his lips. "Robin really gave us a roasting in that training session today."

Raven nodded in agreement. The boy wonder seemed to be going harder on them all of late. Glancing at the questioning green eyes that were still watching her, she gave a small smile. Their post-coital conversations were always like this. A little bit awkward and strange. Raven yawned again, trying not to think about it too much.

"We should probably get some sleep, he'll have more fun in store for us tomorrow," the empath stated, quietly. Beast Boy nodded, turning to look at the ceiling in her room.

"You're probably right. I'll head back."

Raven paused, biting her lip. This was the part she loathed. The part she dreaded. The penalty she had to pay for her pleasure. The _awkwardness _of it all. Their relationship was even more messed up and complex than usual, and neither of them seemed to know how to navigate it. The empath sighed, the sound causing the changeling to look over at her.

"You okay?"

"Yes," replied Raven, her violet eyes turning to look up at him once more. "I was just thinking about the past."

Beast Boy laughed lightly and turned his eyes back towards the ceiling. He folded his arms behind his head. "Anything specific?"

"Just about how things change," said the Azarathian, quietly. Being sparing with the truth felt like her only option. "Over the years we've all been through a lot of change."

"That's true," conceded Beast Boy, his eyes glazing over slightly. She could tell he was reminiscing, lost in his memories. She gently reached out with her senses. There were a mixture of emotions pouring from him; happiness, sadness, fear, hope. Then a powerful wave hit her. What was that? The empath had never felt it from the changeling before. It was as though the shapeshifter could read her thoughts; he turned back towards her, returning to the present. "Sorry, I was lost there for a moment."

"What were you thinking about?" asked Raven, feeling brave for a moment. His eyes creased slightly, but the empath couldn't tell whether it was amusement or happiness.

"Love and loss," responded Beast Boy, his eyes becoming slightly tear-filled. "We've been through a lot of it over the years."

Raven felt a cold hand creep up inside her and grip her stomach. It twisted and grew, gnawing away at her insides. She felt nausea hitting her. He wasn't thinking about..._her_? She blinked a little in confusion. But he'd said love and loss. That could only mean one person, surely.

Terra.

Of course, and he was referring to her love and loss of Malchior. The resonance of the incidents had not been lost on her over the years. She knew that their experiences had bonded them in some strange way. Yet, she never realised that the young man had been in _love_ with the geomancer. Certainly, Raven herself had come to recognise through a long and painful grief process that she had never really been in love with Malchior. Instead, she was in love with the idea of him. In love with what he'd represented to her; a potential soulmate. Someone who accepted her as she was, without question. Not as the 'creepy' half-demon, destined to destroy the world. But as Raven; as a person, as a woman. That didn't come along every day. She felt herself shudder again, but this time it wasn't due to the cold.

Was that all these strange trysts were to Beast Boy? A rebound? Was she simply a crutch to ease the pain he felt from losing his one true love?

_'Does it matter?'_ asked a voice inside of her. _'We're getting what we wanted anyway. This was never about anything other than lust.'_

A pause.

_'Right?'_

Raven suddenly wasn't so sure. Recognising she had been silent for some time, she managed to keep her face impassive as she let out another deep yawn.

"I need some sleep," she stated, resolutely and a little icily. The changeling seemed taken aback by her sudden change in tone, but he nodded. Quietly, he slipped from her bed and dressed. Raven closed her eyes, hoping that he would buy her charade and leave. She couldn't bear to look at him in that moment, the queasiness still sitting at the pit of her stomach.

"Goodnight, Rae," said a voice from the doorway, before she heard the familiar whoosh and clunk of metal clipping together. She let out a breath of relief and rolled over onto her back. She didn't know why, but she felt as though someone had stabbed her through the chest. Rubbing her hands across her eyes in frustration, she gripped fistfuls of her lilac locks between her fingers. She couldn't believe that such a small comment could have affected her this much.

_'Why?' _she questioned, pressing her inner-self for an answer. _'Why do I even care? This isn't a relationship. We're just two people acting on impulse. I have a crush on Beast Boy. I find him physically attractive, of that I'm certain. But that's all.'_

_'Is it?' _came a quiet voice from inside her. _'Is that really all this is?'_

It was in that moment the truth hit the empath like a ton of bricks. Her hands dropped from her hair, landing on the mattress with a thud. Her eyes were wide, tears streaming silently down her face. Her mouth was opened slightly, a gasp escaping her lips. This was far worse than a crush. She was falling in love with him.

She was falling in love with Beast Boy.

* * *

The next morning, Raven regressed to where she had been all those months ago. She was hiding; terrified of the sudden realisation that she had made. Every attempt from the changeling to get her attention was met with avoidance. Her eyes were averted when anyone spoke with her. She responded only in one-word answers or grunts of approval or disagreement. She barely ate anything, picking at her food as though it was bitter. Starfire looked at her, a concerned expression on her face.

"Friend Raven, you are unwell?"

"I'm fine," replied the empath, grabbing a mug and throwing a teabag into the white porcelain roughly. Robin looked over at his girlfriend and shook his head; he knew better than to try and explore whatever was bothering the young woman. This was Raven's code for _'leave me alone'._

Cyborg gently passed her the kettle, and she gave him a look of thanks. Everyone was treading on eggshells around her. But none more so than Beast Boy. The changeling also knew that there was something bothering Raven, but he didn't want to broach it in front of the other Titans. So, he sat quietly; looking down at his handheld games console and trying to keep a low profile. As the steam rose from her tea, Raven turned towards Robin sharply.

"Am I needed?" she asked, curtly. Robin eyed her warily, then shook his head.

"Not right now. Do you need to go and meditate?"

"Yes," replied the empath, her violet eyes faltering as she stared at her tea mug intently. If Robin hadn't known better, he could have sworn she was about to cry. He touched her shoulder reassuringly.

"Then go. I'll come and get you as and when you are needed."

Raven nodded, offering a small smile to Robin by way of thanks. She knew that he was aware there was a problem; she couldn't mask it. She had barely slept and felt as though her heart and psyche were being torn in two. It was a struggle to contain her soul self for long enough to get herself some tea, let alone to try and concentrate on training. Silently, she walked out of ops and headed down the corridor towards her room.

Robin and Starfire shared a knowing look and sat down to eat some breakfast with Cyborg. They all talked quietly amongst themselves, and no one appeared to notice Beast Boy's seat was also empty within a matter of moments. He picked silently through the corridors in the form of a butterfly, until he reached her door. Shifting back into his human form, he raised his hand to the metal and tapped lightly.

"Go away," came the voice from inside. Beast Boy rested his forehead against the cool metal and let out a deep sigh.

"You know that I won't, so you might as well open the door."

There was a hesitation for a moment, and then a grumble of frustration. Several curse words that were inaudible to the human ear were muttered, but Garfield heard them. He stepped back from the door, as it whooshed open and revealed Raven's cloaked figure. She was stood back in the shadows, eyes gleaming with emotion.

"What?" Raven growled, grinding her teeth together. She couldn't face him at the moment, every single ounce of her was pushing to escape. But the empath knew he was relentless, and that she needed to confront him somehow. Beast Boy looked uncertain, confused even. His voice had a slight tremble to it as he spoke.

"Look, I don't know what's going on, but I just wanted to say—"

"I can't do this anymore."

"What?" replied the changeling, his eyebrows raising at her sudden interruption. Raven sighed, rubbing her eyes with the flats of her hands. She pulled her hood down and stepped out into the dim light of the hallway.

"I can't do this anymore," repeated Raven slowly, her eyes filled with sadness. "We should stop. I want to stop."

Beast Boy's jaw tightened, his eyes igniting with questions. The empath noticed his hands briefly balling into fists then releasing. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Okay. Then we stop. I respect you, Raven. But don't you respect me enough to at least tell me why?"

There it was. The reason that Raven didn't want to speak to him about it. Because she knew this question was coming. She knew that the young man had every right to ask it. He had a right to know why she had suddenly changed her mind in such a short space of time. But she couldn't tell him. Not now, not ever. Taking a deep breath, she looked up towards him.

"I changed my mind," Raven whispered, the words feeling like poison on her lips. There was nothing behind them; no strength or conviction. She swallowed; her mouth dry. "It isn't what I want anymore."

Beast Boy's eyes narrowed; his face lined with suspicion. "You're lying to me."

"I'm not," responded Raven, sounding desperate. She wanted to apparate far away, to escape the situation. But she was stuck with a disbelieving changeling standing in front of her. His green ears twitched, and he let out a light snarl that caused the empath to jump slightly.

"Whatever this has been between us, I would have thought that you at least cared about me enough to tell me the truth," Garfield growled, his animalistic reactions making Raven feel afraid. He was intense, focused, feral. A far cry from the happy-go-lucky shapeshifter she had come to know. He took a step towards her, eyes flashing with anger and betrayal. "I guess I was wrong."

Raven couldn't find her words. She wanted to reach out and hold him. Kiss him and tell him it was all a mistake, that she really felt so deeply for him that it scared her. But instead she stood there dispassionately, saying nothing. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then thought better of it. With a turn, he shifted into a cheetah and sped off down the corridor.

Raven's tears splattered down her cloak and onto the metal beneath her. She closed her eyes. That was harder than she anticipated, but it was done. They could now put this behind them, and both move on with their lives. But deep down, a small part of her shouted out to be heard.

_'What if you've just made the biggest mistake of your life?'_

* * *

**Review replies:**

**TheAlienHeart: Thank you so much! Hopefully you also liked this chapter, although I'm aware I'm messing with everyone's heads haha.**

**Golem XIV: I couldn't agree more; I've always thought that, particularly after Trigon had been defeated. I'm afraid our Into You Raven has a lot to learn at this stage - she doesn't trust us, clearly...! Hope you enjoyed the chapter :)**

**Azarath Cat: Don't worry, I couldn't be mad at you :) Also, this isn't representative of my relationship with my husband either - I just have a very active imagination! :D**

**astrid lupinus del terra: Great username! Glad you're enjoying it so far, hopefully this chapter didn't disappoint :)**


	6. Chapter 6 - Made Too Many Mistakes

**Thank you all so much for the kind comments, follows and for reading this story. Review replies at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans nor any characters from the DC Universe.**

* * *

**_Chapter six – 'Made too many mistakes, better get this right'_**

_Five months later_

_'Think about Malchior,' _Raven told herself, staring at her reflection in the mirror. _'Think of the heartache, the pain. I cannot go through this again. I will not make myself vulnerable for anyone else. Never again.'_

This was the pep-talk that the empath had been enduring every single day for the past five months. Five long months, where she had become increasingly isolated and fearful of her state of mind. Bewildering as it may be, it had come around to the changeling's birthday again and the Titans were organising an evening out in celebration. It was an unspoken thing, but Robin had suggested it was more or less mandatory for them all to attend. The team had been through the grinder lately, with a huge spate of crime descending on Jump City over the recent months. Robin had suggested it would be good for them all to take some time out together and have a night on the tiles. Raven felt her stomach lurch at the proposition.

Since their last encounter, Beast Boy and Raven had barely exchanged two words. The team had assumed they had fallen out over something, but no one dared to pry into what had happened. Robin had gently tried to enquire a few times, but the empath remained stolid and reproachful. Eventually, the boy wonder had given up and hoped that things would heal in their own time. On the battlefield, everyone still seemed to be working together well and that was his primary concern.

Raven pulled on some civilian clothes. Her wardrobe was limited when it came to normal attire, but as they would all be wearing holorings for the evening she didn't feel there was much choice. Pulling on some dark skinny jeans and a purple top, Raven tried to calm her nerves. She knew that she would need to try and make some kind of comment to the changeling, and yet speaking with him caused her physical pain. Seeing him every day and being unable to get close to him made her feel a sorrow, the likes of which she had never experienced before. But, if she was to make this work, she needed to at least try to act normally. One day of the year wouldn't be _so_ hard, right?

Raven wasn't convinced. Pulling on her black Chelsea boots, she stood up and fanned her hair around her face. As she began wandering down to find the others in ops, her heart sunk in realisation of what the night to come would hold. She wasn't the only one who had changed over these past few months. Beast Boy had been going out a lot more regularly than ever before. Often on dates, with women he had met during missions or from his fanbase. Every time one of them sauntered up to meet him for a date, the empath felt two emotions. The first was a deep, lingering sadness. It hit her deep in her stomach and made her want to curl into a ball and cry unyieldingly. Sadness was a feeling Raven was accustomed to; one that she was apt to manage, and she was able to control it convincingly. But the other emotion was new. Raw and painful.

Jealousy.

A clawing, snarling green-eyed demon that had taken up residence in her chest. It took all of her self-control to hide impassively behind her book and not rip each girl limb from limb. As the months moved on, so the feelings of jealousy and rage became stronger and even intertwined. Sometimes, she could feel a growl rising in her throat. A flash of crimson would appear in her eyes as the doorbell rang. A hiss as the girl appeared in the doorway. In those moments, Raven had to dart away to her room or take solace on the roof. Meditation wasn't helping. _Nothing _was helping.

So, the empath had come to realise this was her life now. Beast Boy would move on, as she always knew he would, and she would remain alone. Forever. It was safer this way, for both of them.

As the door to ops opened, Raven was greeted by Starfire and Robin who were already disguised by holorings. Starfire's signature red hair was still on full display, but her eyes were now blue, and her skin was a pale peach colour. Her simple sundress accentuated her curves beautifully, in a complimentary lilac colour. Robin had no need of a holoring in reality, but it was useful to provide a full disguise without need to wear sunglasses in place of his mask. His hologram had shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes and olive skin. He was dressed in smart casual attire, as per his own instructions to the team, with a shirt over some chinos.

"You look nice," he said kindly to Raven, handing her a holoring. "It's all set up for you."

A flicker and a buzz, and suddenly the empath found herself staring at a strange reflection in the glass. Long, dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Her skin was still pale but had lost its grey hue. Starfire clapped her hands together. "You look wondrous, friend!"

"Thanks," mumbled Raven, not believing the compliment for a moment. Compared to the other two, she felt very plain. Robin lifted her hand, pointing at the ring gently.

"Cyborg installed something special for you. It's a blocking device," began the boy wonder, clicking a button on the side. Suddenly, her empathic abilities became duller as though someone had turned on an electromagnetic pulse for empaths. She blinked in surprise. Robin smiled, realising that it had worked. "It should dull the emotions of the others around you. Don't ask me how it works, Cy put it all together on his own. He said you seemed to struggle at the party last year with everyone else being around and he wanted to make sure you could have a good time tonight."

Raven gave a small smile. How typical of her big brother to look out for her. She tucked her dark hair behind her ear and admired the ring. It wasn't perfect, but it certainly would help. Particularly considering how difficult tonight would be. Raven mentally noted to thank him later, one to one. She nodded appreciatively and gave a small smile. Cyborg entered the room after some time had passed; his holoring's projection had changed little over the years. With his metal parts invisible, he looked handsome in his dark suit pants and open necked shirt.

"Oh yeah, time to party Titan's style!"

"Where's the birthday boy?" asked Robin, checking his watch. "Transport will be here in five."

"He's coming now. I headed to his room to give him his holoring there," smiled the cybernetic man, his teeth gleaming. "He'll be good to go in a couple of minutes."

"Ooh, this is so exciting!" remarked Starfire, clapping her hands together and floating up into the air. Robin grabbed her arm and dragged her to the floor with a thud. The boy wonder looked at them all threateningly.

"We're all _incognito_ tonight," he began, sternly. "So that means _no _powers. Unless danger rears its ugly head, I don't want to see anyone using any of your abilities at all. Got it?"

"Loud and clear," replied Raven, leaning against the back of the couch. "We're normal adults on a night out."

"Right," nodded Robin, looking inquisitively at the other two who nodded in comprehension. "Let's make sure it stays that way, okay?"

"Dudes check me out!" exclaimed Beast Boy, running into the room. He looked excited. But perhaps most startlingly, he looked _normal_. Standing before them was a blond-haired blue-eyed man, whom they'd never seen before. Yet the voice was a giveaway. Dressed in his smart casual attire he looked like an ordinary guy, ready for a night out. Cyborg fist pumped the air.

"Oh yeah! Told you that you would look epic," he laughed, slapping his friend on the shoulders. Beast Boy laughed, his blue eyes creasing at the sides just as his emerald ones usually did. Cyborg turned to the others. "I ran a genetic test, and this is what B would have looked like if he hadn't turned green."

"Huh," smiled Robin, shaking his head. "Never thought I'd say this, but I kinda miss the green."

"I agree, friend Beast Boy!" nodded Starfire, running over to him and pinching his cheeks. "You are most handsome, but I prefer you as you were."

Raven was deathly quiet. Her heart was hammering, and she knew that any words she attempted would come out badly. Even in this form, she found him attractive. It was impossible. The night was going to be a disaster, she just knew it. Garfield's eyes locked with hers for a moment, and he gave a small smile. It was so miniscule she might have missed it. Then his eyes averted back to Cyborg, with whom he began to talk animatedly.

"Thanks dude! This is the best gift ever!"

"Oh, transport's here," interrupted Robin, looking at his watch and deleting the message that appeared. "Come on guys. Let's go have some fun."

Fun. Raven felt herself laugh internally at the word. This night was going to be anything but _fun_. A pang hit her in the chest as she thought about how much longer she could keep this façade up.

_'Perhaps it would be better if I left the team.'_

She pushed the thought away with vehemence. The Titans were her family. This was her home. If nothing else, she needed some stability. As for the cost of staying, she would have to endure. Pain, she decided firmly, was all in the mind.

* * *

The club was loud, and the flashing lights were blinding. Raven felt as though she was in hell, despite Cy's clever gadget on the holoring. She would have rather been anywhere in the world than in the place she now found herself; nursing a soda and watching the others have fun. A few men had sidled up to her but had soon got the message that she wasn't interested. So, she sat alone trying to hold herself steady and get through the night.

Beast Boy and Cyborg were on the dancefloor, creating a scene as usual. Robin and Starfire had vanished somewhere, leaving her on her own at the bar. Raven rolled her eyes, as a strange young man approached her.

_'Here we go,'_ she thought, trying not to make eye contact with him. He was handsome, in a conventional kind of way. But his physical appearance left her feeling cold, her stomach knotting at the realisation he wasn't going to go away easily.

"Hello there. What's a nice young girl like you doing sitting alone in a place like this?" asked the man, his blue eyes gazing at her inquisitively. Raven sipped her drink through her paper straw and sighed.

"I'm not alone, I'm with my friends," she replied, gesturing towards Cyborg and Beast Boy. The young man followed her eyeline, his eyebrows raising as he saw the two undercover Titans throwing shapes on the dancefloor.

"_Those_ are your friends?" he asked, disbelievingly. Raven smirked and gave him an earnest look.

"Unfortunately," she responded, her voice its usual monotone. She remembered the pseudonym's Robin had assigned them all last week. "That's Vance and Gabe. My other two friends Robert and Sofia are around here somewhere too."

"Hmm," nodded the stranger, tilting his head towards the copious amounts of alcohol behind her. "And you're left propping up the bar?"

Raven shook her drink at him. "It's a soda. Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't drink."

The young man laughed, leaning himself against the wooden bar gently. "Right. I'm guessing you don't dance either."

"Whatever gave you that impression?" asked Raven sardonically, raising her eyebrows. She couldn't believe this perfect stranger had somehow managed to pull her into this conversation. But it was actually quite nice. Perhaps even better than sitting here alone. The young man quirked his eyebrow and gave a lopsided smile.

"Just a hunch," he replied, amusedly. He held out his hand towards her. "Connor Lynch."

Raven looked at him warily but decided it couldn't hurt. She shook his hand. "Romy."

"Don't you have a surname?"

"Let me think, do I have a surname for someone who I met two minutes ago? No, I don't," stated Raven firmly, but her eyes twinkled with mirth. The young man laughed again and sat down next to her.

"Fair enough. Nice to meet you Romy."

"Likewise, Connor Lynch," nodded the empath, sipping at her drink. She had already broken her promise to Robin and had reached out to check what Connor's intentions were. Despite her blocking device, she could vaguely sense his feelings. He was friendly, curious and a little nervous. She looked at him sidelong. For her part there was no spark there, although he appeared to be a nice guy. Raven felt a little mean for potentially leading him on, but she decided that polite conversation didn't mean anything. It wasn't as though she had stuck her tongue down his throat, after all. Her eyes flickered across to the other two Titans. They had been approached by two young women and were dancing with them, smiling and laughing. She felt her stomach starting to tie in knots. The voice at her side broke her inner monologue, giving her a temporary reprieve.

"So, what is it that you do, Romy?" asked Connor, curiously.

"I'm a...librarian," decided Raven, trying to sound convincing. "From out of town. Only here to celebrate my friend Gabe's birthday."

She gestured towards Beast Boy, her eyes betraying her for a moment as they filled with sadness. She took a deep breath, trying to centre herself. Connor followed her eyeline towards the attractive blond man at which she was staring.

"Ah. Have you known each other long?"

"About five years," stated Raven, coolly. He was dancing with one of the young women now; a petite redhead with a cinched waist who was suggestively wrapping herself around him. Raven felt her grip on the glass tighten. "Since school."

"And the others?"

"Yeah, from school too," lied Raven, her eyes never leaving the dancefloor. The redhead was whispering something into his ear, and the changeling was laughing. He was _flirting _with her. The green-eyed monster within Raven reared its ugly head again, her demonic blood boiling in anger.

_'I'm going to murder her, tear her legs from her body and feast on her entrails, I am going to—'_

"So, how long ago did you and Gabe break up?"

Raven turned her head sharply towards Connor, her jealousy towards the redhead on the dancefloor temporarily forgotten. "Excuse me?"

"You and your friend," replied Connor, gesturing towards Beast Boy with his beer bottle. "When did you break up?"

"We...um...I mean, what makes you think we were together?" stammered Raven, her cheeks burning hotly. She felt ashamed that this stranger had managed to make such an accurate deduction in such a short space of time. Connor smiled, his face genuine and kind.

"I've had my heart broken before, Romy," he stated, sympathetically. "You can always tell another broken-hearted person from a mile off."

Raven snorted, but she felt the sadness overwhelming her as she looked down at her hands. "We were never really together. It was just a...thing. A while ago."

"What happened?" asked Connor, placing his drink down on the side. He seemed so concerned for her, a genuineness of the like Raven hadn't experienced in a while. Connor was the closest thing she'd had to a friendly ear since she had excluded herself from the group five months ago. She felt herself succumbing to his compassion.

"Nothing really. I called it off when I realised that I had deeper feelings for him than he did for me," stated Raven, trying to remain clinical. She needed to keep herself under control, otherwise the whole club may explode. She raised her holographically blue eyes to look at Connor. He was regarding her with a quizzical expression.

"I see. So, he told you it was meaningless sex?"

"No, I just—"

"He expressed that he didn't feel anything but physical attraction for you?"

"Well, not exactly—"

"Sorry, Romy," interrupted Connor, holding his hand up. "We've only just met, and I wouldn't want to offend you by suggesting you're wrong here. But from what you're telling me, you realised you had feelings for him and then freaked out. It doesn't sound like the poor guy had much of a choice in the matter."

Raven was silent for a moment. She considered his words. "I guess, maybe. But we're good friends. It's quite complicated."

"Not really. You still have feelings for him, don't you?" enquired the young man, softly. He placed his hand on her arm gently. The empath glanced up at Beast Boy, noticing he was entwined with the redheaded woman who was now giggling. She felt the jealousy pangs igniting again and shrugged her shoulders.

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Honestly?" asked Connor, wiggling his eyebrows. He released her arm and picked his beer up again. "Yes. Yes, it is."

"So, what do I do?"

"What do you want to do?" shrugged the man, taking a swig of his drink. He winked conspiratorially at her. "I'm just a regular guy, Romy. I don't have all the answers, you know."

"Ah. You had me going there for a moment," remarked Raven, sarcastically. She looked up at his genuine face and smiled. "I don't really know how to answer that. Look, I appreciate all your help. But I imagine this wasn't what you envisaged when you came over here. Being an agony aunt for a messed-up girl at the bar."

"Not entirely," admitted Connor, a light blush on his face. He gave her another genuine smile. "But in honesty, I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. I wouldn't want to stand in the way of anyone's happiness. A pleasant conversation with an attractive woman is fine. We don't know each other, so you don't need to feel bad about it."

"A shame, as you seem like a nice guy," replied Raven, feeling genuine sadness and guilt. "You don't deserve to have a broken heart. I hope you find what you're looking for."

"Thanks. You too," replied the young man, tipping his beer towards her in a salute. Raven tipped her soda back towards him, the glassware making a clinking noise as it collided. She reached over and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, feeling a strange sense of gratitude towards the man. He'd been a lot more help than he had realised, and the empath wanted to show him some thanks. Connor blushed, and gently tucked a strand of dark hair away from her face. He stood up and walked away from her, offering her one last parting comment. "You should talk to him, Romy. He's looking this way."

Raven smiled and turned her eyes back towards the dancefloor. They soon widened as she was met by the ferocious gaze of an angered changeling. He had stopped, mid dance on the floor and was glaring in her direction. Raven felt a hotness creeping up her neck. Garfield looked livid in a way she had never seen him look before and it shook her to the core. She blinked, uncertain what to do and too startled to break his gaze. He gently pushed the cute redhead to the side and excused himself before striding over towards where Raven sat. She felt like a rabbit in headlights, unsure whether to run or fight, but instead choosing to freeze in position as he drew ever closer.

Her throat felt dry; her palms were wet with moisture. All of the feelings were starting to become overwhelming, and it was with panic that she realised that some of the glassware behind her was exploding. She swallowed, trying to drown everything out. Cyborg's blocking device wasn't any use here; these emotions were all hers and she had no idea what to do with any of them.

Beast Boy arrived next to her, his eyes on fire. There was a primal spark in them, the likes of which Raven had never seen before.

"Who was _that_?" he hissed, his voice low and gravelly. Raven blinked again, trying to focus on containing herself.

"That was Connor."

"Who?"

"Just someone I met tonight," replied Raven, tentatively. She hesitated, realising that this was the first proper conversation they had engaged in over the past five months. Holding her chin up, she felt some defiance return to her. "Who was the redhead?"

"Huh?" answered Garfield, momentarily taken off balance with her response. His brain caught up, and he shook his head. "I don't know, some girl that came over to me and Cy—I mean _Vance_."

Raven shrugged, turning her head away from him and folding her arms. "Well, the two of you seemed very _intimate _to me."

"Ha, well at least I didn't _kiss_ her," shot back the changeling, childishly. Raven glowered at him, feeling the anger she had bottled up for the past five months rising in her chest. She stared at him; her eyes full of fury.

"At least I haven't been dating every piece of _skirt _that looked in my general direction," began the empath, her tone low and frightening. Pressing her hands to his chest vigorously, she pushed him back a step and stood to her feet. "At least you haven't had to watch as I _parade_ around the Tower with a different girl every single week."

Garfield laughed at her, pain in his eyes. "Seriously, Rae? You're going to hit me with that? You told me it was over. _Over_. That you couldn't do it anymore."

"It's _Romy_," replied Raven, balling her hands into fists. People were slowly backing away from them, hearing their raised voices over the pounding music. But she was too far gone to care. Everything came pouring out of her. "I never stopped caring about you. Just because I couldn't do it, didn't mean I instantly stopped having feelings for you."

"_Feelings_ for me...that's what you're calling this? Forget that, what the hell even _was _this to you?" asked Beast Boy, looking confused and angered at the same time. Raven went to turn, and he gripped her wrist tightly. She winced in pain, and he released the tension slightly but didn't let go. "Was there even an 'us' in your mind?"

"I don't know," started Raven, feeling tears filling her eyes. More crashing behind her. She struggled to get out of his grip, but he held her firmly. "Maybe there was for me, but you made it very clear what our 'moments' meant to you."

The anger was gone from Garfield's face, now replaced with sheer perplexity. "What are you talking about?"

"Love and loss, remember?" replied Raven, feeling the jealousy bubbling to the surface. She didn't care anymore. She didn't care if she hurt him. Maybe he deserved to feel hurt, the way he had hurt her. "That's all I was, a rebound to you. After _her._"

Garfield looked at her incredulously. He started to laugh and shake his head. Anger getting the better of her, Raven tried to squirm from his grasp. She would not be made a mockery of, on top of everything else. When it was clear he wouldn't let go, she raised her free hand to strike him. He caught her outstretched palm in his other hand and yanked her arms down firmly. He stared at her, the intensity making her feel weak. "Outside, now."

Raven glared at him but turned and marched towards the doors. Beast Boy looked over to where Cyborg was inquisitively examining the pair. Starfire and Robin had joined them, and everyone looked equally puzzled by the scene. Garfield held up a hand signalling to give them a moment.

As the cool summer's air hit her, Raven felt dizzy. Everything was so confusing; it was an array of emotions she had never experienced before. Seeing a quiet alley away from the crowds of people, she darted for it. Raven leaned her back against the wall, tears in her eyes. She just wanted to go home. Squeezing her eyes shut, she wished the world away.

_'Please,' _she begged, talking to an invisible force she didn't know existed. _'Please let this all be over with now. I can't take it anymore.'_

"Rae," came his voice, strong and firm. "Raven, look at me."

She looked up into his unfamiliar blue eyes and sniffed. Trying to regain some composure, she straightened herself against the wall. He placed one arm alongside her, she suspected to prevent her from leaving.

"I want to understand something right here and now," began Beast Boy, determinedly. The maturity emanating from him was unlike anything she had ever seen in the changeling before. It both scared her and made her love for him feel even stronger. Why was everything about their relationship so contradictory? She nodded, trying to hold onto what little strength she had left.

"I want to understand what you thought I meant by our conversation that night," began Garfield, eyes looking at her questioningly. "About love and loss."

"You were talking about Terra and Malchior," said Raven, her voice wavering despite her attempts to remain steadfast. "You were implying that you loved her but that she was lost. Ergo, I was just something to satisfy that. I was just there to make you feel better about the fact that your true love is gone. I'm just a poor replica to take away the pain."

Beast Boy stood upright, arm moving from the wall. Pressing both his palms on his face, he looked towards the heavens. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"What? Are you trying to deny it?" growled Raven, confused by the young man's actions. His face fell back down to look at her, intense gaze still lingering.

"Yes, Raven. I'm denying it," replied Garfield, letting his hands drop back down by his sides. "I'm not in love with Terra."

"You're not?" replied Raven, her face betraying the bewilderment she felt. "B-but you said—"

"I meant that we had both lost loved ones," replied the changeling, his tone despondent. "You don't know much about my past, but I lost my real family in Africa a long time ago. You lost your mother and your home on Azarath. The others have all had similar difficulties in their childhoods. We've loved and lost. All of us."

"Oh," managed the empath, her stomach dropping through the floor. Suddenly Rita's comment at the party the year before made sense. Beast Boy had lost his real family long ago; yet she could still feel the pain emanating from him as he spoke. So, this wasn't about Terra after all? If her interpretation had been incorrect, then all this time she had got the wrong end of the stick. She meekly tried to backtrack. "But I thought—"

"I know what you thought, but you were _wrong_," growled Beast Boy, the primal spark reigniting. He gave a bitter laugh and rubbed his eyes again. "Do you really think that I thought of everything between us as just fooling around? That I thought of our 'moments' as a sticky-plaster solution for my broken relationship with Terra?"

"Well..." began Raven, uncertainly. She trailed off, not knowing how to even reply to his question. She wasn't sure of anything anymore. The world blurred, as she felt tears hitting her eyes again. Windows in the building behind them shattered. Neither party seemed to notice.

"I was just a dumb kid who liked a girl and it didn't work out. I missed her for a while but that was all. She was never my long-lost love and you weren't a rebound. And if you _really_ believed that I thought that, then you don't know me as well as you think you do," said Beast Boy, shaking his head sadly. "I'm not that kind of guy."

"But all the dates with the other girls—"

"We had dinner and a conversation," admitted Garfield, sighing. "Nothing else happened. Not with any of them."

"Why?" asked Raven, her eyes pleading.

"Because they weren't you," conceded the changeling, suddenly unable to meet her eye. His voice lowered to a whisper. "I was trying to get over you. But I couldn't. I never wanted to stop, Rae."

Raven bit her lip, guilt hitting her like a tidal wave. She had messed everything up. "You didn't?"

"No," responded Beast Boy, looking back up at her with the unusual blue eyes. "Did you?"

Raven paused, hesitating. She owed him the truth at least. "No."

"Then why?" asked the young man, looking broken and tired suddenly. "Why didn't you just talk to me about how you were feeling?"

"Because it was becoming too complicated," huffed Raven, folding her arms. She felt defiance rising in her again, her defences kicking in. "It wasn't just physical, and you know it."

"Don't evade me; answer the question. Why did you stop?"

"We were becoming...attached," managed Raven, closing her eyes and banging her head on the wall gently. The time for honesty had arrived. "I was becoming attached."

There was a silence. The empath peeked at the changeling through one eye to find him looking at her incredulously. "What are you saying, Raven?"

It was as though time stopped for a moment. Raven could see two paths ahead of her. Continue the path of misery and sadness or try to be honest and salvage what little relationship she had with her friend. Left or right. Left or right. Deliberating, she took a deep breath.

She was a good guy. A hero. And heroes always had to do the right thing, no matter how painful or difficult. She reached over and grabbed him roughly, placing her lips on his; just as she had done many times before. He responded immediately, passion exploding from his chest as he grabbed hold of her and pushed her forcefully against the wall. She felt the air leave her lungs, her emotions soaring at being close to him again after all this time. Pulling back reluctantly, she rested her forehead against his softly, a few tears leaking out of her eyes.

"Because I was falling in love with you," she whispered, quietly. Then she was gone; vanishing in a flash of black magic that left the changeling resting his head against the brick wall. He snarled angrily and smashed his fist into the stonework, before taking off into the night.

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**Review Replies:**

**EthereaI: Thank you so much! Hope you've enjoyed it this far too :)**

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**Thanks to all of you for your continued support!**


	7. Chapter 7 - What You Came Here For

**Brief note: After all of the lovely reviews, I was tempted to make this story longer than initially intended. But I feel I need to stick to my guns, as it were. So, I'm afraid dear readers this _is_ the final chapter. I do hope you enjoy it for what it is and what it was always meant to be; a fluff bucket. Initially I told you it was already written and that was the truth. So here it is as I intended it. There is an extended author's note and review replies at the end. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe.**

_**This final chapter is dedicated to the lovely Azarath Cat, a faithful reviewer who is going through a rough time.**_

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**_Chapter seven – 'Tell me what you came here for'_**

_'Sorry, Robin, for breaking my promise. But I couldn't stay a moment longer.'_

With a thud, Raven landed on the floor in her room. The Tower was silent, all it's other occupants still out for Beast Boy's birthday. She took a deep breath. It was then, in that moment, that she realised the enormity of what she had just done. There was no taking it back. The words were said; the changeling now knew the true extent of her feelings.

Raven had broken everything she had vowed to herself; she had let herself become vulnerable in front of someone once more, despite every mantra she'd ever uttered. Sighing, she took off the holoring and placed it on her table. Her violet hair and eyes flickered and reappeared once more. The empathic abilities flew back full force, all hints of masking disappearing in an instant. If she was going to be vulnerable, she might as well go all the way.

Raven knew that Beast Boy wouldn't let this go easily. Running away like that was sure to have angered him. There wasn't much time to decide what to do. There were only two options, as the empath saw it. Stay with the Titans and face what was going on between her and Garfield or run away and leave them all forever. Neither option felt either comfortable or satisfactory. Raven sank down onto her bed, flopping backwards onto the dark bedding. She wondered how things had become so difficult.

_BANG._

The sound made her leap into the air, eyes wide and glowing white with magic. There was no voice to indicate who was there; the Tower was still eerily quiet. And then it came once more.

_BANG._

Raven rose to her feet, a ball of dark energy in each hand. She could feel someone, or something nearby and its energy unnerved her.

_BANG._

Then silence again. She was at her door, her hands shaking slightly in anticipation. How could she have been so stupid as to isolate herself from the other Titans? She was vulnerable in more ways than one. It could be any villain, any madman who had—

_BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG. _

The empath reeled at the abruptness of the cacophony of noise at her door. Then it dawned on her. It wasn't banging any longer, it was _knocking_. Raven paused, her violet eyes narrowing.

_'Why would a criminal knock?'_

Before she could pursue the line of thought any further the door whizzed open to reveal Beast Boy, panting heavily. His holoring had also been taken off, judging by the appearance of his green skin. Raven suddenly noticed his bedraggled form and goggled at him. The casual outfit had clearly been part of the holographic projection, as he was now in his standard attire. But his appearance was anything but normal. His uniform was torn and battered; his face contorted. The empath spoke, her voice shaking a little.

"What did you do?"

"I had to get back here before you did something stupid," replied the changeling, still gasping for air. He leant on the doorframe and exhaustedly closed his eyes. "So, I let him out."

Raven paused; her eyes wide. She reached out and gently touched the tears in his uniform. "The Beast?"

The green shapeshifter nodded; eyes still closed. Raven could feel the pounding of his heart and the heat radiating off his body. But his breathing gradually was slowing down as he acclimatised to his human form once more. The empath gently steered him over to her bed and let him sit down to regain himself fully. She knew that the transformation into the Beast always took a lot out of him. Despite everything happening between them, she cared for him and his safety would always come first.

She took a deep breath, before offering any comment. "That wasn't very sensible, to let him out over this."

"Raven," growled Garfield, his eyes flickering open. They were filled with that primal spark again. "You were going to leave."

"I-I wasn't," protested the empath, weakly. His emerald eyes narrowed.

"So, you weren't even considering it as an option?"

"Fine, I'll admit I was considering it as an option," huffed Raven reluctantly, folding her arms. "But I hadn't made my mind up."

"Exactly _why_ I needed to get to you fast," replied Beast Boy, a slight smugness in his voice. Raven knew he was right, but she didn't want to back down. She was digging her heels in at every opportunity.

"If you say so," she replied, arms still folded across her chest. The changeling's expression softened slightly. He reached up and uncrossed them gently, and the empath turned to look at his inquisitive face.

"Raven. How could you tell me something like that and then disappear?"

"Isn't it obvious? Because I can't handle it," replied Raven, tears starting to drip down her face once more. The tables in her room rattled with energy, but she continued talking obliviously. "I can't _handle_ whatever this is that we're doing, I can't handle a relationship and I can't handle loving you."

"Raven—"

"I _can't_, Garfield!"

"Raven—" tried the changeling again, but she cut him off again mid word.

"It's so easy for you, everything is so straight forward. You don't know what it's like to be this way," she continued, now ranting wildly. "I have to wake up every day, scared of being with you and scared of being without you. It's like hell; like I'm being tortured every waking moment."

"Rae—"

"I don't know what I'm _doing_ anymore, I feel like I'm going insane," growled Raven, her crimson eyes showing momentarily. "I wanted to murder every single girl that came in here. My demonic side was out for _blood_, Gar. Do you know what that's like?"

"I have a pretty good id—"

"Five months like this. FIVE MONTHS. I can't do this anymore," snarled Raven, still in full flow, despite his protestations. "When I weigh it all up, I have no choice but to go. Otherwise I could put you all in danger and—"

It was the empath's turn to be interrupted, as his lips found hers firmly. Her lilac eyes widened, as she realised what was happening. But within moments, she had sunk helplessly into the kiss. It was tender, gentle and reassuring. Nothing like the one outside of the nightclub which was desperate and full of longing. As they broke apart, Raven was lost for words. Beast Boy reached up and gently stroked the side of her cheek.

"Be quiet now and _listen_ to me," he said, tone firm but kind. "You always have a choice. You above all people should know that. You didn't give me a chance to say what I wanted to back in the alleyway but..."

He paused, taking a deep breath and holding her hands affectionately. He ran his thumb over hers absently as he spoke. "I'm in love with you, too."

Raven felt the shock hitting her. She had spent five months convincing herself she was a rebound. That Terra was his true love and she was nothing more than a stop gap. A bit of fun. But this...

...Beast Boy loved her?

"For how long?" asked Raven, suddenly. Her heart had started to hammer in her chest so hard that she could hear it pounding in her ears. The changeling looked up at her, his eyes filled with a strange sadness.

"A long time," he admitted, suddenly appearing shy. His eyes faltered, and the empath could sense shame rolling off him. Raven lifted his chin, staring into his eyes steadfastly.

"Since when?" she pressed, looking into his eyes for an honest answer. He let out another deep breath and released her other hand from his grasp. Raven suddenly realised she was not the only one who found being vulnerable difficult.

"Not long after Tokyo," admitted the young man, a light blush appearing over his face. "Look, I know it wasn't like that for you and that's okay. To be honest, I didn't think that I ever stood any kind of chance with you before my last birthday and then..."

He released another breath, almost appearing relieved to be finally getting a weight off his chest.

"...then it happened that day with Red X and I couldn't believe it. I couldn't _believe_ that you were feeling something more than friendship towards me. I'm not going to lie, Rae. I was happy to take whatever you offered me. But it was wrong of me. I should have told you the truth, right from the start. I just didn't want to scare you off. You're like this fragile little creature that is so timid you run at the first sign of danger. You disappear as soon as you feel uncomfortable, and I never wanted to push you. I wanted it all to be your choice, your pace."

Raven allowed his words to sink in. Everything started to fit together. His strange behaviour. All those moments of watching her after they had been intimate. He was trying to find a way to tell her, a way to show her how he felt. But there was never a window of opportunity. She never _allowed _him a window of opportunity. His green eyes looked at her imploringly.

"I hope you can forgive me for not being honest with you. It's just...I was scared," admitted the changeling, meek all of a sudden. "I was scared of losing you after I'd waited so long."

Raven felt tears in her eyes. Everything felt so strange. He had been in love with her for so long, and she had never noticed. All this time, it wasn't Terra. It was her. That feeling she couldn't place within him...it was love. For her. The half-demon. The Gem that was sent to destroy the world. Daughter of Trigon the Terrible. The creepy, dark one of the team.

Garfield Mark Logan had feelings for _her_. Hell, he was in love with her. She could feel it now; it was hitting her more forcefully than ever.

Raven looked at him, her violet eyes somehow seeing him properly for the first time. She reached down and took his hands again, giving him a small smile. "Thank you for sharing that with me. But I don't forgive you."

She felt the hurt pouring from his chest and gave his hands a squeeze. "Because there is nothing to forgive. Everything I did was my own choice. I had been experiencing feelings for you for a long time. A lot longer than the day with Red X."

Raven watched as Beast Boy's mind started to make the links in her behaviour, just as she had done with his. "So, all of that weird behaviour before my last birthday it was..."

"Yes. I was avoiding you because I had started having feelings for you."

"Then after my birthday you ran away because of it."

"Yes."

"So...it wasn't just a physical thing for you?"

"At first," admitted Raven, awkwardly. She sighed, eyes faltering and looking at the floor. "Because I'd made some mistakes in the past, I think the truth is that I didn't _want_ to accept that it was anything more than a crush."

Her eyes raised again, as she allowed herself to open up to him. "But then it got stronger. Each day. I realise now that I was slowly starting to fall in love with you."

"Wow, this is the best birthday ever," smiled Beast Boy, suddenly reverting to his jovial self. "Huh, who'd have thought it. I guess the funny guy _does _get the girl."

Raven let out a small laugh, pushing some violet hair out of her eyes. "Is that what you want? To get the girl?"

"Yes," replied the changeling, nodding vehemently. "We did this all back to front but...I know now more than ever that want to be with you. Only you. No more dates with other girls, I promise. Never again."

He paused, suddenly realising the audacity of his words and winced. "If that's what _you _want."

Raven considered his statement for a moment. Could she really concede to this? After everything she had been through over the past year...after everything she'd experienced. Was it all worth it? She focused inwards.

_'It has been quiet since we have been alone, it's a bit scary. I miss the comfort of his touch.'_

_'I HATED seeing those other girls here. I'll destroy the Tower if you put us through that again.'_

_'He's so adorable, I'm so glad he's back here with us!'_

_'Logically, this seems like a sensible thing to do. We know we can trust him, he's our best friend first after all.'_

Maybe it could just be that simple after all. Why did everything in her life always have to be so complicated? Perhaps she was the one making it complicated. Perhaps this didn't need to be one of those things. She gave one of her rare genuine smiles to the changeling. Everything seemed clear, as though the path before her was more obvious than it ever had been before. "Yes."

"For real?"

"Yes, for real," nodded the empath, her voice quiet. She smirked at his discomfort and shoved his arm playfully. "_Please_ don't get too over excited or I might change my mind."

"Anything you say," laughed Beast Boy, capturing her lips in another brief kiss. "You know, tonight is the first time you've called me Garfield since everything...you know...happened."

"I...did?" said Raven, but it came out more like a question. In truth, the empath hadn't noticed that she had called him by his real name. She wasn't sure why, but since his mature outburst earlier that evening she didn't feel like he was a 'boy' anymore. Garfield seemed to suit him much better; her unconscious clearly agreed. "I guess I did. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's okay. Hey, does that mean I can call you Rae?" Beast Boy asked hopefully, amusement lining his face.

Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. "After everything we've been through...I _suppose_ that's okay."

"What are we going to tell the others?" asked the changeling, gently brushing a stray hair from her cheek. Raven shrugged, a feeling of apathy seeping over her. It didn't matter what the others thought anymore. They weren't two naughty teenagers sneaking around in the darkness any longer. They were two young adults in love. The whole experience felt different to her, somehow. Less clandestine. Less illicit. More real.

"I don't care," she admitted, slowly crawling into his lap. "What _I_ care about right now is making up for the past five months."

Beast Boy's eyes lit up with that now all too familiar primal flicker. He gave a low, throaty growl and nipped at her neck. Raven's eyes rolled heavenward, as she clung to his shoulders tightly. Everything about him being this close to her felt right. He kissed up her neck and along her jawline until he reached her ear. Raven couldn't stop the smile creeping over her face.

"Mine," Garfield whispered, gripping her pale body tightly.

And she was.

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**Final author's note: There it is! My fluff bucket extraordinaire. I do hope I didn't give you tooth decay. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the story and as always leave me a review, if you would be so kind! Thank you all for the support, it was more than I had ever imagined for my little fluffy BBRae tale. **

**Final review replies are below this chapter. I'm so grateful to each and every one of you. If you want a longer story, please do go check out Fly Away (shameless plug!) it's a novel length TT story I wrote recently and is, of course, BBRae. **

**I'm not sure when I will write another Fanfiction story, but I will try to keep writing. I've sort of drifted in my inspiration lately, but I'm sure it will strike me again soon! In the meantime, you all take care and thanks once more!**

**With warmest wishes from your resident friendly BBRae fan,**

**-Chibi**

**Review Replies:**

**Azarath Cat: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! You already know how much I value your feedback from my PM - but just in case THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

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**MrsNightmare: Cool name! I hope the ending was satisfactory (albeit fluffy and light!) check out Fly Away for a longer story of mine and thank you so much for the kind review.**

**Ms. Ursine: Even more fun times to be had now! :) Thanks for the review.**

**Guest: I hope your hurt is healed! Thanks for the review :)**

** : Connor is pretty cute - I liked writing him. I love seeing Gar jealous too, so don't worry! :) Hopefully you enjoyed the ending, and Raven's bravery returning. Thanks for your kind reviews, do check out my other stories for more if you like :)**


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